Your RESPONSE during Calamities is Your CHARACTER

1990th BLOG POST

We generally talk about a person’s character and we associate him with a certain kind of persona. Traditionally, in India, defining someone’s character included how one behaved socially in terms of their interaction with another gender. If a person is devoted to only one person, he/she was termed to be of good character whereas if someone had multiple relationships either at a time or in series, the person was meant to be of bad character. Similarly, anyone having any kind of relationship before marriage was termed as having a bad character – just for this reason itself. This is quite weird in many aspects as you never know what a person is going on in their personal life to understand why did they have to go through multiple relationships in their life.

 

But in modern culture, when we talk about someone’s character, it is not defined by this at all. We have given the liberty to the person of choosing their partner for themselves and end up having multiple break-ups too. Very few people are judgmental about this anymore. Now, there is a different problem altogether where we find ourselves and people around us going through mental health issues a lot. We realize someone who was very polite turning into an aggressive person. We observe a patient person turning into an impatient and rough personality. We find an extrovert turning into an introvert and vice-versa. This happens when a person is generally going through a tough situation or after a big trauma that they have undergone in their life.

 

This means that somewhere a person’s normal approach of thinking changes due to the bad experiences and he/she starts behaving differently and can’t retain their original character or sometimes, don’t remember it anymore. This shift happens due to frustration as one is not getting the results and it’s the irritation that a person tries throwing upon everyone. This is a kind of destructive mindset. So, it happens even when a talkative person goes silence. It is also done out of the same reason which then becomes problematic for everyone around as the guesswork begins about why the person is behaving weirdly or silently.

 

Secondly, a person also ends up tweaking their character because they feel that their basic character couldn’t fetch the desired happiness so maybe changing our ways of dealing with people will help us find some sanity. This becomes more worrisome as people stop identifying with you at all. They are unable to understand if the earlier version of yours was fake or this one is. Once you start behaving in a newly way, you start feeling validated by yourself and you wish to continue like this – it’s only mental state of yours which brings you back to your real self as it becomes normal and healthy again.

 

It is very necessary for us to maintain our character in the tough times. It is during this period that people generally get to know about you. How you would be reacting and responding to the situations tells about your capability of handling things even when you are not in your proper mindset. People start acknowledging your character and you earn the respect of being a person who can handle things as swiftly as you would have done in your good days. It is said that you are defined by how you react in your bad days than good days. But what we do is – we focus on ourselves when everything is okay and the moment things start getting bad, we think we have got a certificate to be anything and we would be understood. Well, that’s the biggest mistake we do.

 

Your haters will enjoy seeing you over-reacting to things. And they also get irritated when they find that you are not succumbing to the pressure but being the same matured person even in tough situations. They’ll even try provoking you but this is the time to remain sane and think of every action you do twice because you know you are not having mentally good days. This realization should be there before anything to maintain your character otherwise people don’t even realize or agree that there’s something wrong with them. First acknowledge that and then try maintaining your character, values, virtues and integrity the way you would have done anyway. Let your haters call you fake or bullshit or whatever they wish to call- you should be knowing who you are and when everything will end – your well-wishers as well as your haters will realize the kind of true person and great character you are. Just let the phase end for your mind to respect you for how you handled it when it wasn’t allowing you to handle yourself. Wait for that day. 😊

 

P.S.: In the end, I also acknowledge and understand that sometimes mental conditions take you to extreme end where you don’t know what to do and how to do. That’s a situation completely out of your hands hence it’s fine to falter during such uncontrollable times.

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

It's OKAY to be a little IGNORANT

 1989th BLOG POST

I remember a time when I felt that I need to know everything – everything damn possible to know in life. I felt that it is the way to grow in life. It is the way to feel something about myself. It is the way to create impression in front of everyone whenever I am a part of group. I tried doing it all during my college days when I didn’t skip a single news or tweet just to ensure that I am updated with every damn thing. I always wanted to be the guy who knew the most. It was a kind of craziness that had gotten into my blood. I had become unstoppable. It is the same reason how and why I ended up reading more than 500 books just during my college days itself where education was tough in itself to conquer and score eligible marks to get a good job.

 

If you ask me today, I am still little bit the same person as I get frustrated if I end up missing reading newspaper due to workload or something. It is one of the primary reasons why I tried adopting an early-riser lifestyle than being a night owl. Even though I know that when I work in night, I am more productive. Still, I decided to change my routine and convert it into being a morning person so that I can finish updating myself with all the knowledge before my day starts. It has been helpful in many terms but if you ask me truthfully, I still love being a night person. Every time I am about to sleep on time, every cell of my body fights against it. Every atom in my body wishes to stay awake for some more time and still try to wake up early in the morning – because it has also understood the benefit of waking up early.

 

Anyway, with experience, and after suffering few unwanted incidents in my life, mainly in last 2 years which has been very tough upon me, I think that it’s great to not know things you have nothing to do with. Yes! Recently, a friend of mine shared with me his Google Drive folder which consists of all the recent movies and web-series which people are talking about. When I went through the file names, I was surprised to know that there are many contents which are popular among people but I don’t even know their titles. Earlier, I would have got very ashamed of myself but now, I am very proud of myself. Proud because I didn’t run towards the direction I didn’t want to go to. If out of 50 web-series, I know only about 5, I’ll aspire to keep myself updated only with these 5 of them otherwise all my time would have got spent in updating myself by spending 10 hours each on every web-series. Isn’t it good that I don’t know about all these contents?

 

Similarly, if someone doesn’t know that a Cricket match is going on, he/she will not spend time in front of television for 5 days to find your team losing the series. Likewise, when we find our life being dragged into a blackhole from which it’ll take us a lot of time to get back on track, we start finding solutions to it. It is the same time when you start believing in certain theories you never knew existed. I have seen people believing in meditation, astrology, tantric vidya, black magic, tarot card reading, reiki, Japanese theories and what not. They start trusting in Godmen who promises to bring their life back on track by conducting some rituals or reading some mantras for you. This, then, becomes so hopeful for you that you trust on these entities more than working upon yourself, your life, your body, your mind and your people.

 

Hence, it’s better to not know many things. If you know things enough for your survival, I am telling you that’s all you need to stay happier on this planet. The more you want to know about things that doesn’t matter to your health, wealth, career and happy life, the more you are pushing yourself into the pit from which you’ll never be able to come out at all. And let me tell you, undoing the things you have done or unknowing the things you know is a very difficult task. It needs a very different kind of conscious strength to make this happen achieving which is not everyone’s piece of cake. Therefore, don’t try to know everything that’s happening around you or world. It’s okay if you don’t know what’s happening in UP elections. It’s okay if you don’t know about an International statement which has insulted your nation. It’s fine. You just try to learn things needed for you to live your life happier from the time you wake up in the morning till the time you close your eyes to sleep at night. That’s it. That’s all we need to know.

 

Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

My Experiments with Silence: The Diary Of-An-Introvert by Samir Soni (Book Review: 3.75*/5) !!!

1988th BLOG POST

1^st Book of 2022

 

There are few public figures you always feel associated with – Reason? You have seen them through your growing years and you feel connected with them for being a part of your childhood/youth. Samir Soni is one such actor whom I have seen in the serials like Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahi whereas I have loved his acting in movies like Baghban, Vivah etc. I also remember him in the 4^th season of Bigg Boss and that scene where he goes and sit near the gate with his belongings to leave the show is still engrossed in my mind. I never knew that he has gone through a long phase of depression, isolation and loneliness. The release of his first book named “My Experiments with Silence” was a surprise for me as the book speaks about his journey through these tough times. Before starting the review, I must say that the poems written by Samir in the book are top-notch and you will not be able to believe that a regular poet has not written it. I am in just awe of all the English poems in the book.

 

The book also has a tagline which says “The Diary of an Introvert” and I must say it will relate to many people reading this book. Right from the 1^st page to the last, you get a feeling that this person had nobody to open his heart too and hence the book has pages filled up with so much where he keeps talking to himself or Universe or God. I have been an introvert for most of my life and I am someone who doesn’t open about himself with the world hence I could relate with every sentence that the author has scribbled. I must say that it’s not easy for anyone to come out of the closet and share their personal diary stuff with the public. I have been a Blogger since more than a decade now and I still think twice before exposing my vulnerable self out there for the people to judge me. Samir, being a celebrity who is still very active in the movie industry, doing this is a commendable job.

 

This 190-pages book is a short read which you can complete within a day or so but it’s written in a way that it takes time for you to grab things and consume them. If you have been in this phase ever, you’ll understand it very clearly what the author or the protagonist of the book is going through. The book is written in a diary format along with the dates. For some reason, author has hidden the year when it was happening with him which confuses you because sometimes, I thought it’s from 2004-05 whereas sometimes it seemed to be 2011-12. I don’t know when this exactly happened but what matters is that it busts many myths about mental health.

 

We always think that people with money, success and fame can never go through something like this but this personal diary of Samir states that even after having spotlight over you, winning awards here and there matters nothing if your mind is wandering and not giving you peace you are longing for. There are instances in the book where you find the writer alone on a weekend wanting to share time with someone but there’s no one he can call and be with. Such phases can be very tough for someone to bear – and mostly when you live in a posh area of a Maximum City like Mumbai. Author has defined loneliness quiet aptly in almost every chapter.

 

There’s another perspective that the author gives about us being that 5-years old always in our heart. It is so well observed because even when I talk with myself today, I feel as if I am talking with the kid version of myself with whom I have always had my conversations. I never feel that it has also grown up like me. Author also talks about other aspects such as our temptation for validation from others. He also talks about fear, hope, longingness, insomnia, illusion, reality, success, rejection, tough times in career & job, divorce, marriage, insecurities etc. The book has almost every keyword associated with mental health and this is my personal opinion that read it only when you are on the last leg of your recovery phase or have been through this in past. If you are currently going through such times, the book can make it more tough for you as your inner demons will start troubling you more reading something that’s already troubling you.

 

Now, talking about the drawbacks, I must say that author has very vastly mentioned all about his tough times and vulnerability but doesn’t give any idea on how he overcame it. He doesn’t talk about recovery methodology at all. He doesn’t tell us if he’s seeing therapist or doing it all by himself. Yes, he makes it clear that he trusts in God but apart from that, he never lets us understand how he came out of the situation. I was expecting some great insights from his journey of recovery too. Secondly, as I mentioned, author should have given little clarity about what was happening with him when he wrote the certain section as it builds up the curiosity but doesn’t let us understand the complete picture. Thirdly, whenever a celebrity writes a book, they must be aware that they have a certain fanbase who would want to meet them through their work irrespective of whatever it is. Here, there’s no Samir Soni’s personal talk with us at all which can make us connect with his personality.

 

Overall, this is a very fresh attempt which will give you many beautiful quotes, proses, poems and stories. It will make you want to understand what goes in the mind of an introvert who’s going through tough times. I give this book 3.75 stars out of 5.

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

What "LIFE of PI" teaches us in that one single scene...

1987th BLOG POST

2021 – The year I think will always stay with me as a memory – a memory – bad or a learning one – I don’t know – but the date whenever I’ll have to mention 2021 will give me goosebumps. It has been very difficult in all terms for me – either personal or professional. Luckily and I should also give credit to my resolution towards bettering my health that this department stayed great for most of the times. I also tried many experiences for the 1^st time such as a long road trip of around 3200 kilometers which is something I always wanted to do since we started owning a car as a family. But all of these examples are like few good scenes from a bad movie which you’ll never recommend to anyone. At times, I think why did I even had to have these few good experiences in the year which I would always rate as one of the worsts for myself. I could have kept it due for 2022 or maybe for 2023 or well, 2024.. and so on…

 

You must have watched the movie – “Life of Pi” starring none other than Irrfan Khan who is no more with us. I always wanted to watch it but I think it was destined for me to watch it only in 2021 i.e. 9 years after its release only after I have suffered same experiences. Thanks to Amazon Prime otherwise I don’t know how much time it must have taken more for me to reach the movie. Obviously, the whole movie is worth watching and every scene is a delight but something that stuck with me is one of the last scenes in which Irrfan Khan cries while narrating it. Even I cried in that scene and it tore my heart like anything. He speaks of the instance where their boat finally reaches the shore and the Tiger finds a forest nearby. He feels that Tiger will once turn back to see him before getting back onto his life as he had done everything possible to protect him for months in the middle of the sea. But Tiger doesn’t turn back even once and enters the forest without giving a damn to Irrfan Khan’s character. It hurts him so much that even after years, it makes him cry remembering the event.

 

Seeing that scene, I felt as if it was so much about me. No, I am not trying to portray myself as someone who is always good to others but still gets ill-treated. I am talking only about one-two people here with whom I tried my best to ensure that the relationship gets strong and beautiful gradually or instantly, but when it came about showing the same love back to me, just like that Tiger, they didn’t think twice about me but went ahead in creating a great life for themselves without caring about my feelings. It made me understand that movie so well because it wanted to tell us about the basic nature of few human beings who doesn’t care about what you did for them but the moment, they find a good opportunity for themselves, they’ll move ahead without worrying or giving a damn about you.

 

And the recent two cases had happened with me in the year 2021 itself and I just couldn’t stop crying watching that scene. I could feel the pain Irrfan Khan was trying to portray for the only time he cried during the whole movie. You see people choosing a different set of people than you when it comes to their priority irrespective of whatever efforts you have put up to include them in your life. You see people not even coming to say a good-bye to you for whom you did everything for every day you were with them just to make them feel pleasant and not miss that broken part of their life. What is the solution or remedy to this? Is there something which can provide you immunity against such people who cares and loves themselves more than you even in conditions where a small gesture could have made you feel loved?

 

I don’t think there’s anything that can ever protect you against such gestures of people. You are bound to get hurt hence you should never ever expect. Yes, the same old cliché advice but we don’t know how we end up having expectations in relationships and keep on punishing our heart, mind and sometimes, even our soul. And let me tell you – healing a broken heart and mind is still easy and time-limited task but healing a damaged soul can take your whole life. Wish we had little sensitive people around us to understand that. Maybe they aren’t wrong. It is we who lack understanding of people or the circumstances lead us in expecting from them. Something needs to be corrected within us and in our lives to ensure maximum happiness from relationships we indulge in. Well, that’s it. I know the start of 2022 is getting quite depressing on this Blog but I am unable to get away with the pain 2021 has left upon my soul. May God bless me soon with a happy soul.

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Starting New Year 2022 with THIS POST...

 1986th BLOG POST

So its 6^th day of the New Year and even after trying to be regular on this space, I couldn’t manage to be here for more than 35 days in a row now. There has been no post in December 2021 at all. I feel so bad for it but then things don’t work out as per your plan sometimes. Few things take all your energies and attention even when you don’t want to commit yourself to it. Life happens and we are just an observer to it. 2021 was a very horrific year for me and I would never be able to forget and forgive the Superpower that made it happen with me. You can’t always judge yourself, but I can judge this much that I didn’t deserve a bit of this. But then, the Superpower is not in our control, but we are in control of it. You must accept few consequences and make yourself come to terms with it.

 

Since 2009, I have started journaling my life and I know every good and bad days of my life. It has been such a great phase where my graph only went upwards since then till 2019. But 2020 came up with things I had never expected to happen with me. I know whenever we talk about 2020 and 2021 – we only talk with troubles Coronavirus caused us. Coincidentally, these two years got me into some other situations which made my life a living hell. May be, the planets and stars were not in good positions for any of us – hence, some suffered in 1^st wave of covid, some suffered in 2^nd wave whereas few like me suffered due to some other scenarios in life. But SUFFER, we DID! I got my job switched twice along with bigger concerns than this in life.

 

I wanted to write my 2000^th Blog Post in 2021 itself and had planned so well to get onto my target but it couldn’t happen as I mentioned, I was away from all this and was fighting a difficult situation back in my life for 6 weeks. My grandmother left us during the same timeframe which made it little more difficult as I didn’t have my parents with me for some time. I had my sister with me during this phase but even she had to leave abruptly which happened so sudden that I couldn’t respond to everything happening in my life the way I should have. Too many movements sometimes distract you from what you had targeted to reach upon. Your destination becomes blur and after a point of time, you leave it for God to show you the way you must walk upon.

 

Every time, I am so very excited to welcome New Year with open arms but this time, it seems nothing prominent has shifted in my life. This New Year doesn’t even excite me. I have yet not worked upon my Resolutions nor have I gone through my 2021 Resolution list to understand how I fared. Because what matters to me right now is that I survived everything I went through. Whenever you go through shits you were not prepared for, you automatically prepare yourself in becoming a strong person you could have never been otherwise. If everything starts working the way we expect it to happen, where will the craziness of life go? One of the biggest properties of life is its randomness. If you take it away and things start working the way you want, you’ll destroy more because of the realization of how powerful you are – that- things always happen the way you want it to happen. Let ourselves be the puppet of life and enjoy the ups and downs it asks us to go through.

 

I know the 1^st post of the New Year has sounded quite depressing and confused in a sense, but I can’t be one of those who put a fake face to the world whereas they are going through something completely opposite in their personal life. At least, I don’t pollute my Blog Space at all with such pretentions. I might certainly do it on Instagram. Haha! That’s one of the reasons why I stayed away from writing a Blog for weeks because I can’t post reviews and posts talking about entertainment and success when I am failing at things personally. I hope things get normalized soon in life so that I can again expect things to happen at its own pace rather than throwing 10 bowls at a time at me to play all of them with just one stroke. God, I am still not that strong. Take it easy on me. At least for some more days. With this, wishing a very Happy New Year 2022 to all of you reading this. Hope your life is sorted out and you are enjoying another property that it has – BLISSFULNESS! My prayers and wishes are with all of you. Do pray and wish for my betterment too. I am suffering a lot. Hope 2022 brings a new light for me to walk towards it with the same enthusiasm and power I have always shown in achieving things for myself. 😊

 

Thanks & Sorry for this Post.

 

WRITING BUDDHA