Silence is the Best Weapon.. Let it prevail !!!

824th BLOG POST -->>

       Does telling the one who does not feel any good about you about the good that you have done to them has any meaning? 

       Does letting someone understand what their fault has been proliferates the density of Friendship/Relationship?      

    Can an argument or a healthy discussion repair all the loopholes in the relationship? 

         I don't think answer of any of these questions could be positive. It should never be. People around me who know my attitude always say that I should talk to the person I feel I have problems with. They say that I should tolerate them more. They say that I should make them know what I was expecting and what bad they did in return. They say that an argument itself can bring things in control as they will realize that its them in fault and not me. But my heart, soul and mind, the learning of all these years say that I shouldn't discuss any glitches I have with them. I feel that a person will change him/herself if he/she really feels that they are wrong. And if in a relationship I'll have to tell their mistakes, its better not to have the relationship. A bonding never takes place until and unless there's no belonging-ness. Belonging is important. And when you discuss such matters, it shows that its diminishing. 

          For me, being "silent" is the best healer of every thing. It's better to stay quiet and show everyone as if I am as normal as I always was. Or to fake that I am not in the mood of talking and conversing. Whatever but never discuss the pain that they have given to me. Never let them know through my words the amount of hurt they have caused. Stay silent and see what's their take on the issue. Life is so vast. People keep coming and going. If someone wants to go, if someone wants to show that their selfishness is above anything in world, it's better to walk away. Staying in a relationship isn't important if there's no clapping from both the sides. I have tried a lot at personal level. I have thrown the "I" factor long back and always worked as team. I compromised at almost every level. With some with their behavior. With some with their morals and values. With some for their belief. With some because of their backgrounds. With some because of their childishness. But now I want them to compromise with me for my weirdness. And now is the test of friendship. Now I am wanting to see if they stay or not. 

           Some will keep trying. But a trial does not assures if the person is serious about continuing or is doing just for the sake of not getting into bad book of ours. I and everyone understands such friends. This world is full of so-called Friends. The real one shines automatically. Neither one has to say nor prove. When bad time goes, a wise person automatically comes to know which people really worked for him. There is difference between wishing to work for someone and willing to work and then really working. The last part turns me on. Friendship is a dull thing for me until and unless a friend does not understand what my silence, my life says. If everything has to be said by me, done by me, asked by me, its better to make new friends then. On demand, even they will make me feel good. But the one who does this without I asking for it are the ones who makes me sure about them. These people are surely being with me for a long time.

            Clapping in my good times can be done even by a stranger but the one who comes to support me in my worst scenarios are the one who would be considered once the time changes again. And unfortunately, no one comes to support in bad times. They leave you and go for the betterment of their own selves. They find new funny and successful friends. They leave you. You become waste and useless for them until they realize that some works of their life can be accomplished in a smoother way if accompanied by you. This is how the whole process is. And in such times, you should take some hardcore decisions. All life of yours is already spent in sacrificing yourself for their benefits but what they always saw was your 1 or 2 mistakes. From now onward, make it sure that you don't help anyone by sacrificing yourself. Help only when you find that you are free and are willing to. Not when they need you. You are already been used extensively. Now is the time to wake up and understand things.

            Every time when I have done what people have done to me, I am been talked about as if I am the first one to start. They claim the down shift of the friendship from the time I started acting weird. They don't include their numerous tiny and major faults because of which I had to take such decisions. I am always blamed. I am always questioned as to why did I do it. I am always gossiped about. I am fine. I know that there are certain things of mine in which you were sometimes a support but I was never dependent upon you. I am always ready to live my life by myself and on my own terms. Like all of you, I don't impose my terms upon others. I keep my terms and conditions confined only up to myself. What you blamed me for is what you are yourself doing. This is what happens when a Friendship is made or retained or kept only because of selfishness. This should be prohibited.

            In all these circumstances, conditions, instances, I don't complain. I never tell the persons their mistakes even if they make me sit with them and discuss. I keep on iterating that there's nothing that I have in my heart. I make them feel assured that the reason of my absence in their life since a time being is not because of them but because of some other reasons. What is the benefit out of this? I, unlike others, don't do things for friends to make them feel obliged towards me. i do it because that's the way I am. That's what my mother has taught me since childhood- to keep helping others. But one lesson that I learnt while helping others is that never make them know what all you have done for them or compromised because of them. Once said, everything becomes ZERO. Till the time you don't speak it out, it remains there. Understand!!! Never go to clear things by telling the problems. A real friend understands what problem you are in or have from him/her. Silence is all that you should be in. It's the best hathyaar. :-) Try controlling yourself once. You will see magical changes. 

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU!!!