SOCIETY!!! Has it ever done any good to us?

806th BLOG POST -->>

            Society!!! What does your mind think when it hears this word? I am sure it starts analyzing everything that you do considering it to be right. We fear that we won't be accepted if the particularity that we are involved in is offensive or considered sin. It's hard to impress society. But the truth is that all of us have one society that we live in. Many feel that it's impossible to ignore society and do what we feel like. But what I think is- Society has no role in my life until and unless it has uplifted my position and brought me to a level at which I could see myself a slave of it. There has not been a moment when this society has brought a dynamic change in me or my parent's life. The 3 of us have fought our battles ourselves. We never got a true support from any of them. Some of you may say that our best of best friends are also the part of society then how can you, the blogger, say that we can ignore the society? True. Our friends are also considered as a society. Now, if you feel that what they say has substance, consider them as your friends. If you feel that what they say is meager an accusation at you or your modus operandi, consider them a part of society and start ignoring. Losing some people is beneficial when it's about your happiness and progress.

            Suppose the society I live in is a pure Hindutva society. It does not believe in making any kind of friendship or interaction with any of the Muslims. And I have lots of Muslim friends visiting my house almost on daily basis. Some coming for night-outs too. These people won't feel nice and secured. They'll start talking about my friendship with Muslims behind me. After few days, they'll start indirect comments while conversing with me or my parents. Now what do you think should I reply back with? By asking all my Muslim friends to meet me in a totally different area just because my society is too narrow-minded to consider them as humans? Or should I continue with the way my happy life is? I will, in any case, continue with the latter part of the discussion. This society won't come to help when I will be beaten by few Muslims if some riot happens. Then why do this society comes to me when I am enjoying my life with those people whom they consider indifferent? 

            I remember the bad times I had. Which part of this society came to help me? No one. When my father was jobless and was trying to get a good stable one to feed himself and his family, which part of this society came for help? No one. When my mother faced some personal problems with her hometown, which part of this society came for her rescue? No one. Then, the 3 of us supported each other- in all ups and downs. We, 3, maintained a trust and interactivity among ourselves. Then there were few friends who came to help. Here "few" does not guarantee even 5 people. The degree of "few" is too less to even number them here. For me, those few people are society. But even then up to a significant level. After that, what I am going to hear is my conscious. When I started writing Blogs, it was my choice. What I tried to build? A Reader Base. If some of my very good readers would suggest me to change, I would consider it as an option. But if some of my friends would come and tell me to change my way of working on this medium, I'll have to snub them. They are no one to decide what I do in my life and how.

           If I would roam with a Muslim girl, this society will say that I am doing all wrong with religion. If I'll roam with someone from my religion (not with planning and plotting), the same society would blame me of violating the terms of my religion by showcasing it as of one that does not respect the credentials of a woman; and permits her to roam with a boy freely on roads. If I share a beautiful friendship with a girl and later on marry someone else, they'll say that I roamed with random girls and got married to someone who's virgin. If I'll marry the same girl, they'll say,"It's a Love Marriage. We always knew that their relationship is not just of a friendship but much more than that". In any case, society will gossip about me. So for their gossiping and to change their momentum of gossiping, do I need to start maintaining distance with my female friends or do I need to start living alone, a life of recluse? I don't need to change anything as I don't give a damn. 

              There are people drinking alcohols, smoking, wearing half-cloths on the main streets. Do I judge them? No. I do get shocked for a moment but later I realize that it's their exploration. They are subjective to open themselves up to that level. For me, my level does not allow me to open up to that extent but still, it has helped me a lot by portraying my life in a normal sense as I always wanted it to be. I wanted my life to be an inspiring one. It is. I wanted my life to be fun-loving. It is. I wanted all religions to be my destination. It is. I wanted both the genders to feel free with me, visit my home, stay for night-outs. It is. With all these things being in my control, I feel happy about myself. My life is a happy life. This is what our school books taught us- To have a happy family and a happy life. 

             Seriously speaking, if society has problems with my doings or anyone's, close your eyes. Or I would say, roast it and let some animals have it as a "Human Tandoori". Because if your eyes does not like my way of living, then you don't have any damn option to change me, the only one that you have is to change your way of thinking. In last decade, even our movies have changed. It has grown our visibility. This generation preserves a guarantee of changing this society for good. I am part of it. And I am proud of it. Thankfully, I am not a part of society that sits and judge the way of living of people. In my colony, a boy has married his father's sister after his parents died. Difference of age between him and his "buaa" wasn't much. They got attracted. They married. People keep talking about them while they lead their life beautifully. I say,"Why do we concentrate so much on such people who are doing something that we don't have guts to do?" There are certain things that we do which others are not doing. So when we don't want others to interfere with us, why do we interfere so much? Let's leave everyone in their very own conditions.

             Some elders would say that,"Beta, kal jab shaadi ki baat chalegi toh log pata karenge. Tab jaanenge ki tumhare saath aisa ho chuka hai toh achchey rishtey nahi milenge". Are Priy uncle, bhaad me jaayein rishtey. Nahi chahiye. Agar wo na kar sakoon jisko mera dil gawara karta hai toh us shaadi se bhi main kabhi khush na reh paaun jinke gharwaalon ko mere "Aaj" se kuch lena dena nahi hai balki mere "beetey huye kal" ki guarantee jyada pyaari hai. I am proud of my past and present. And when I am proud of it, I want everyone around me to be proud of it. If they aren't, I don't consider you, bloody blaming society. A senior that I had in my Graduation college had relationship with her classmate for all the three years. Later on, she went on marrying someone else while the boy got engaged with another girl. We, the society, keeps cribbing about them but all the four people who went through this change are happy and satisfied with it. What role do we as society play here? Just spoiling their natural life rather than supporting what they did for staying happy for all their life.

            When Aishwarya Rai was getting married with Abhishek Bachchan after her negatively-famous love saga with Salman Khan, everyone of us predicted that this relationship will not be successful. It has been almost 5 years and a tight slap is what we, the society, have got in return for judging their marriage. Everyone gets married even after having the most ugly past. Even the girl whose face gets burned gets a family which demands a heart full of beauty than a beautiful face. And I hope everyone of you have read about legends like Bismillah Khan etc who ran away from their homes just because their parents were not in sync with their passion and liking for life. They termed even their parents as society when they found that they are not been allowed to do what they are comfortable with. 

              In the end I would just like to say that nothing is wrong if your heart knows that you are happy with whatever you are doing. Be assured that when the question would arise by the right people (and not by society), you would be having answers to prove that whatever you were up to had a reason. Have reasons for almost every thing that you do- even sins and you would never face any trouble. But if you are yourself doubtful while giving a good reason for anything that you do, stop doing it by yourself. But just because this society is jealous and not very happening with what is happening with you, does not let the happenings quit themselves from your life. Keep doing what you do. You will always remain happy. This society will never come to uplift your position, to give a support, but they will definitely come to suggest you something that you no matter what will disagree to it because they want instability in your life. They just feel depressed to see you happy. Nothing else. That's all.

 Thanks.

  ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU