6th February- It Has Been 6 Years Since Then !!!

786th BLOG POST -->>

            Every year, on 6th February, I post a Blog with the same Title. This day has a very big relevance in my life. Every time, I'll revive all the life changing moments, this date will always come before any other day. Let me achieve any heights but this day will still have its effect integrally over me than any other day. In 2007, on the same day my father picked me up from Pune where he sent me to hostel for 11 Std and threw me in a bedroom in a totally new city, Aurangabad. I had no childhood friends here or anyone to share my heart with. My father had said that I have broken his heart by not attending college and final exams because of which he can never trust upon me again. I didn't explain him my point of view. I pleaded for a while but then left the time to decide my fate. I never told him about the communal tortures, violence, thrashing, beating etc that I went through. I never told him that I would have been killed if he would not have picked me up for more 2-3 months. I never told him about the life that I lived among 300 Extremist Islamic. 

            I took all the blames. I didn't want any sympathies then. I just wanted my father to believe that he has won against me. Because if I would have told him what I went through, he would have felt very bad for the Unexpected and before-time Leaving Certificate that he gave me as a gift for all that I went through. He would have gone to extreme levels to provide me the justice in guilt. That could have brought my family in a very bad light for some Muslims with whom we shared our society and compound with. I never had any glitches with the community even then, I just had hatred for the college and the Muslims over there. Because Muslims have always been good to me. After my sudden exemption, my room-mates kept calling me to make it sure that I'm not committing suicide but living. Later on, my parents asked them not to call anymore. It was the Year 2007 and I didn't even had mobile. My parents didn't talk to me for 4-5 months. There was no Internet at home.

             The only thing that I survived on was "PAIN" and "LONELINESS". At last, I was admitted into 11th std once again and I failed yet again. As I was in abundant amount of depression. Later on, when 12th + CET coaching classes began, I never passed. This kept my life pull me towards depression and loneliness. I used to cry all day and all night. I had no support. It was many a times that I tried to commit suicide but God had plans to keep me alive as he wanted to make me an example for some of his beings. Everyone in classes made fun of me and named me "Psycho". It pinched me every time they called me with the word but I had nothing to do except accepting it. My parents also registered me with a Psychiatrist. I wanted to tell everyone that I am not abnormal, I am just not normal. But later on, I accepted the fact that there's something wrong with me. It was then I decided that once when I'll come out of this Failure and Depression Mode and pass once in my life, I will not let "this" level of incompleteness and failure touch my life. It was shameful, indeed. I thought that I would do something very interesting and big once out of it.

            Today, after 6 years on the same day, when I see my self, I feel so good and inspiring that now even God can't try to push me down to "that" level. It's very shameful there. Seriously friends, its very shameful. Today itself, I got my Logo designed for this Blog. My first published work is in the printing phase. My Graduation is complete without a Drop in any Subject in any Semester. My parents are one of the most happiest parents ever. Today, my friends don't call me "Psycho" but refer me as "Blogger" "Writer" sometimes "Amitabh Bachchan" "Chetan Bhagat" to make me happy. :-) What more can I ask for? In December 2012, I went to the same city- Pune (from where I was picked up by my father) to collect my Degree in the Convocation Ceremony. It was an emotional moment for me. I, with my friends, went to M. G. Road which was my regular hang-out place where I chilled after all the torture that I used to go through in the College campus. I didn't even remember a single store, turn of road or a landmark. My friends made fun of me but I quietly suffered whatever taunts they made. One even said that "Ye saala Pune mein tha hi nahi. Subko bewakoof banata hai. Apne Maa-Baap ko bhi". They can never understand as to how much effort I have put in to forget everything about Pune in all these years. And that made me forget almost everything and I was proud of myself at the moment that I don't remember those worst days anymore. But yet I kept on telling them that I am sad about the fact that I don't remember anything. 

            Today, my father has totally changed. My mother has always been sweet instead of those initial moments after my return. But they remember every bad that I did with them during those 2.5 years of depression and failure. They think that I don't feel bad about this but I do. Just as they can't forget what I did with them, I can't forget what my father did to me. In those days in that bedroom, I decided that I will never be a strict father to my children. I will never pre-judge them. I will always ask them about what made them bunk college or run away from home. My father just took the decision that he is not letting me continue the studies further and wasted one year of my life. Though that wastage taught me many things. But I don't think I can ever wipe out the memories of how adamant my father was to isolate me from the world. But I will never ever do this with my children in any case. Firm Decision!!!

             No childhood friend ever contacted me in those 2.5 years to at least know where our funny Veeru is. The one person who came in my life during that Depression phase left me in January 2009. I would not like to name him/her. That has made me wicked and heartless towards my relatives. And it taught me that love and affection towards anyone should be temporary. Though what happened with me is because of my, parent's and God's mistake but still I got to learn a lot about people around me. Since then I have stopped giving priorities to those people. Today, I have only good and motivating people around me because of whom it has been possible for me to get over that life of tragedy and come up with totally new life. I don't want to take their names again as even they have a personal life in which I should not interfere again and again by mentioning them here. 

             But whatever, today I feel that 6th February was the worst day of my life then but not anymore. If that incident would not have happened with me, I would not have become matured so early. I would not have thought of sharing my ideas with people and hence this Blog Page would not have had existed. I would not have had idea of understanding people. Today, I get along with everyone because I know that if someone fails, someone is liar, steals money etc, he is not only at fault. Circumstances has made him the person he is today. At that moment when my father took me out of that hostel, for once I was happy that I am getting away from all the religious tortures but then I never knew that life is going to be much tougher ahead. But even in post-hostel period, I never knew that after 2 years, I am going to get subjected to a life that even I didn't plan for myself. So I don't feel much bad about what happened on that 6th February morning. Okay, I won't lie. I feel bad. I cry sometimes but I recover soon thinking about my present that is because of my worst past. :-) Though I was brutally thrashed once but now I am only loved. :-)

             I always believe that God decides things for his favorite people. Like Yash Chopra died and co-incidentally the last movie that he directed was named "Jab Tak Hai Jaan". Rajesh Khanna died and his last on-air visibility was about his fans remembering him always. I feel that God includes me in this list of his. Otherwise tell me how is it possible that 6th February is not just another date for me because of few of Allah's Followers and only once I'll get an opportunity to write my "786th BLOG POST" (as 786 is considered to be lucky number in Islam) and it's today, on the same day. I didn't even plan this. Somewhere, God has all the script written and through such co-incidents, he keeps telling me that "My Focus is on you, my servant. Be assured about your future". :-) Every year I write a Blog on 6th February with the same title. Because I just can't skip talking about it. I can name last 7 years of my life as ''A Journey from a Dying Soul to a Published Author/Blogger". :-) 

              Thanks. I am already in tears. Can't control more. The thrashes and tortures' remembrance still pains my skin, soul and heart. At last, I am human. Let me leave. Just keep your blessings with me. The people over here are the most effective people in this Progressing Life of mine. 

   ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU