Raj Thackeray teaches what Relatives are!!!

732nd BLOG POST -->>

            The biggest factors that matters in each of our lives is the people with whom we share our friendship and enmity with. These two associations lead our life in the way it wants to. If we have Friendships with wonderful people, we will always find courageous support with us in whatever we do. And if we have enmity with wonderful people, we might end up in comparing ourselves with them and getting frustrated. Similarly, if we share our friendships with negative people, we might end up losing what we have already achieved in life. And if we'll share enmity with such people, we might again end up comparing ourselves with them hence again causing distress. The simple mantra is to IGNORE such people. No other option should be taken up in any damn cost. But, the moment we realize that we are enemies to people just because of our ego or a will to carry forward the enmity to see how long we can continue with it, we should come to a halt immediately without giving it a second thought. Sometimes, we might hate the person without any reason or personal animosity, but it would be just because we dislike him/her for some thing that even we aren't assure of. And yes, IT HAPPENS.

          I still remember the day I read it in a tweet while sitting in college that Raj Thackeray went to hospital to see Uddhav Thackeray. Later, I read that he drove him to Matoshree in his own car. I was surprised that how can Raj Thackeray show such gesture after angrily isolating himself from the Father-son duo 5 years ago. As soon as I reached home at 7 PM, I switched on the television to see the visuals and was surprised. It was indeed a true event. Recently, when Balasaheb Thackeray lost his life due to old age, Raj Thackeray was with the family without any hem and hesitation. He didn't have any kind of complexion by being at a place where he should not have been considering to what Shiv Sena has said about him in last years. But still he remained with his father's brother and cousin in their bad times. I, considering myself at Raj Thackeray's position, can never believe that I would have done something that he easily did without caring about what he would feel about himself, what world would talk about him and how his own supporters will think of him. Amazing! I was even surprised that he and Amitabh Bachchan were present at the same ground in spite of what has happened between the two in the past. Similarly, when Salman Khan attended Jab Tak Hai Jaan's premiere in spite of knowing that he'll have to face Shahrukh Khan, it surprised me. Actually, I am still surprised to see the larger hearts that both- Raj Thackeray and Salman Khan have recently shown. 

            Seeing them, I realize that I am yet very small as a human being, a good human being. I am yet to achieve that stage of maturity where I can find myself away from a bit of an ego. There's still an atom of it that exists in me. I can never find myself approaching someone with complete new start with whom I have shared a cold war from months/years or a bad relationship. I remember the demise of my Chachaji in 2011, I was asked by my parents to accompany them till Jalandhar and attend the last rituals that are to be taken place. I kept refusing because I was adamant at my decision of not seeing a relative family ever in my life. At last, my friend, Yusuf also told me to be a better human being by going at the tragic occasion as I have always been good in building relationships. I went. As soon as the train reached the destination, I saw my cousin standing with us to carry off the luggage and guard us till Chachaji's home. I was surprised to see him. But I made up my mind that I am not talking to him. And I was sure that he will also reject me. But instead, he patted me and asked my whereabouts. I was surprised. And finally the relationship that was on hold for 3 years rocketed yet again. A week ago, he even called me to ask if I would like to accompany him to Goa for a relative's wedding. Awesome!

             I find myself a big loser at such events. I would have loved myself more if I would have shown this kind of gesture to him or any of my enemy before them. Every time, I want to be friends with someone I used to be, I think that why should I approach, let the person come forward. And with this, I always lose the chance of being a HERO to my own self. It is always won by the person I had animosity with. Now, I have big respect for this cousin considering to what he has done from last 1.5 years every time I tried to protect my Ego. I want to kick this bloody ego away when it comes to certain people but I always lose. I don't know what makes me show maternal love to this very trait in some cases. But, now, I think I will have to rethink on all the pre-decisions I have taken over some upcoming future events as to what my take would be on them. I will have to liberalize my thoughts and go with the situation rather than thinking about the past consequences that weren't as fairy-tale as I wanted it to be. :-) My mother always says that blood relations should be taken care of in any situation. And I always deny it and laugh on her. But I think, I will have to keep it intact. It has been enough times when I have tried to keep myself above every thing. Now, its times to be in favour of what elders say and not what my little knowledge asks me to accomplish. 

               Even when I don't respect the ideologies of Raj Thackeray, my ego doesn't come in learning the good traits that he has as a human being. I should also eliminate the ego when it comes to approaching people- my relatives, enemies and those whom I don't want to keep any relation with. I should be selfless in some moments. I should stop waiting for the clock to give me a perfect mahurat for accomplishing things. I should directly go for them. Let the mahurat synchronize its good willing time with my actions. :-) The surname "Ruhela" will always be attached with me, no matter how far I'll run away from my relatives. My cousins will be my cousins. Their children will be my nephews and nieces. And hence, my children will, by default, be the cousin of their children. I always blame my father for keeping me away from relatives because of which I have not developed chullu-bhar-ka-bhi bond with them. Why should I be committing the same by being more stringent or caretaker of my ego? Let's shed all the egos now. At least try to. Having this thought will at last make me approach them before they do. Thanks Raj Thackeray for teaching me something that has given me bigger perspective towards what I never wanted to have any. :-) 

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU