Yes, I am a Geek!!! (A Write-up by Ishita Bhown)

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Miss Ishita Bhown is one of the youngest authoresses today. Her first book- "To Get Her" is already one of the favorite novels of youth. I have been her friend since her book released. I generally don't talk to authors but her humbleness is something that is to be complimented. She has promised to write on our Blog space every month on 13th. This time she has written about how one should be the way one is without caring about the views of judgmental people. 

Yes, I Am A GEEK!!!

          Given a chance to bare my soul on the playing arena of one of the most daring and bold Bloggers whom I know, I thought of making use of this opportunity to make a big confession- about the way I feel for myself, my biggest weakness, yet my mightiest strength. Something many of us feel about ourselves, yet we are too weak to accept it. Before you get confused and give up on the idea of reading this post further, ( I can’t afford to loose readers, if at all there are any!) I will narrate a real life incidence that happened years ago with me.

            In every school, college or even at workplaces, there is always a small bunch of “cool dude”, who are amazingly active in all the gossips, joking around the corridors, mocking at others and living their life as per their own definitions. These are some people, who are among the “desirables” of the batch , for no apparent reasons. They radiate confidence, they have a classy style, they know what are the latest trends and they follow them flawlessly, they walk with their heads held high, they talk as if they know everything around the world, they discuss the brands of everything ranging from drinks to bikes, stilettos to the dirtiest slangs, from latest hookups, to worst breakups, they seem to know inside outs of every person, and every thing! They have it, and they flaunt it! They shoot random pics and upload on Facebook to get 100’s of likes, they update the weirdest of status and yet get many comments on it, all sorts of “oohhs” “aww!!” “luv yaaa” “miss you shona!!” etc etc. They seem to have a large social circle, and they are popular for things they do not even do. They are in abundance, and let’s accept it- people love to stalk them! 

            This is one part of the world, while there is another breed of losers, who simply look at the class defined above, and merely get awed by them. These losers are distinctly classified as geeks, with no great personality, with a poor dressing sense, with the confidence of a mouse and with the talents like a mule. These losers are born to work, work and just work. They seem to have distant connection with anything related to fun. They go to the shopping malls to buy groceries, they wait for the “clearance sales” to buy clothes, they prefer to drink coffee at home, rather than investing 100 bucks in a posh coffee house. They prefer to be all alone, as any kind of company makes them feel uncomfortable about their lack of awareness, they may know about the timetable of exams, but not about the ways to cheat and pass in the same exam..They know about the ways to make a report, but not the correct person to pamper and get the report made. They are losers in the eye of the world, and they are silently ignored. The slightly ambitious ones among the losers, get jealous, try to imitate the “class” but then they soon give up, get mocked at, and surrender with lame excuses about morality and values.

The classification I made above is weird, but it’s true.

              I realized it a few days back.

           Last year, I met an old friend after 10 long years. He was my close buddy in school, and we had some awesome moments together in the primary classes. He was among the most “popular” guys and I was the same among girls. We enjoyed all the attention we got from each other and from the world around. Life was going good, until I changed the school and shifted to a simpler place. Initially we tried to keep in touch, through phone or emails but gradually the growing distances and busy schedule made us forget about each other. It was after 7 long years of being totally out of contact, when he came to the city after many days, called me up and we decided to meet.

            I was obviously excited to see him after so long, looking at his FB profile, I knew he had changed a lot- he was smarter, taller, cooler and no doubt all the more handsome..But for me, he was still the same friend from school, who matched my intelligence, fought with me, teased me and was a wonderful company. I knew the meeting would be a bit awkward, as our paths had greatly divulged since school, I was an engineer and he was into his family business. Yet, I was positive and apprehensive about reviving an old friendship.

              Finally the moment came, when we were seated in front of each other in the coffee shop. I was not a regular there, while he seemed to know about all the best and the worst serves they had to offer. Anyhow, I managed to decide for myself, while he already knew his order. Our talks started, soon I realized how much things had changed between us. We seemed to be from totally different planets now. He had nothing to talk except for his family business and how it was growing, how drinking and smoking had taken over his lifestyle, how his latest girlfriend adored the bike he brought, how girls looked sexy in the one piece dresses. I had nothing except my own world of engineering, or reading. I felt stupid in front of him. To make myself comfortable, I started the discussion about our mutual friends of school-only to discover that he was no more in touch with any of them. Instead he laughed at the mention of their names, called someone as a “padhaku” , other as a “ dumbass”, even  his first crush of school as a “ jhalli” .He asked me if I was still “single” or had been taken up by someone. I was slightly disappointed by his selection of words “taken up by someone”, as if getting into relationships was a “choose and pick” affair. When I told him that I was happily single and was happy with it, he merely guffawed. I could not understand the motive behind this strange reaction.

I was sad and tried to end the meeting as fast as I could.

           On returning back home, I called him up to thank for the treat, and the meeting for which he could spare some time out of his busy schedule. He blankly replied- “ Thanks! But girl, you have changed so much over the years! “

I was curious to know his viewpoint. I knew I had matured in the past few years, I was no longer a kid who giggled over silly matters, I no longer fought for the last piece of chocolate, or tease people with anything and everything, just to get my own satisfaction of being “cool”. I had become more conscious of how others felt, and thus was careful while speaking about others. I realized that the way you carry yourself builds up your image, and thus I carried myself gracefully. I was happy with the changes that had dawned upon me, yet I wanted to hear his viewpoint, after all he was my closest friend in primary school. 

“How have I changed?” I asked.

“You have become a total geek!!!” he said at once.

I knew he would not approve of the changes, but I neither expected to be called a “geek” on face.

I too disapproved of him, he was too careless about his own self and was too judgmental about others. I disliked his opinions and lifestyle, but I was sensible enough to accept the differences in our natures gracefully.

I just laughed and said. “We are totally different from each other. I am not a geek mister. You don’t know me well.. And you wont know me well..Coz you are busy in other things.”

After a formal goodbye, we disconnected the call, and I decided never to contact him again.

          I felt bad on being called a “geek”. I was upset, and took it as an insult. I stalked the Facebook profiles of all his female friends and noticed how “different” we were. I even thought of the ways to patch up for the differences and get rid of the “geek” tag. It is a negative word, and I could never associate it with myself.

It took me around a week to overcome this shock, and get back to my normal self. It took a lot of efforts by my friends to make me realize that I was perfect in my own ways. I did not follow fashion, or did not do the things most of the people do, yet I was special. I was looked upon as an inspiration for my simplicity, which was not “geek-ness” in any manner. I rebuilt my confidence, and kept going my own ways.

Very soon I forgot about that friend, until yesterday, out of nowhere, I received a message from him, congratulating me for the success in my writing career, and saying that he felt proud of having a talented friend like me.

          I merely smiled…I was still the same- with no dressing sense, no class, no knowledge about the gossips, I still do not have a boyfriend, I still prefer to sleep in my cozy bed on weekend, rather than roaming around in malls. I still do not pose for weird photographs, or bitch around for petty issues. I am just me-I am not perfect, not a beauty queen..Yet I feel like “beautiful me” and was now defined as “talented” and not a “geek”!! 

             His viewpoint about me did not matter anymore, because I was happy in my own skin- a geek or a gem, whatever I am, I am happy to be myself…

So if someone calls you a geek, or insults you..Just smile and explore within….if someone calls you a “cool dude”…just smile and explore within..

The world treats you, like you treat yourself…

 Thanks. 

 ISHITA BHOWN!!!