ISHITA BHOWN SPEAKS (Member's Post) !!!

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            Miss Ishita Bhown is one of the youngest authoresses today. Her first book- "To Get Her" is already one of the favorite novels of youth. I have been her friend since her book released. I generally don't talk to authors but her humbleness is something that is to be complimented. She has promised to write on our Blog space every month on 13th. Last time she wrote a wonderful Short story which got many appreciations. This time, she is here with the First part of a New 3400+ words Fiction Story. Second part will be published on 13th September, 2012. 

The Gifts…

I barged into the room, hardly containing my tears. Just the 1 minute walk from the entrance of house, to my room, and then I could let loose. I could weep, I could cry, I could shriek, I could do all that would ease the pain of my heart, I would be moaning alone. There would be no one to notice my missing smile, or my red swollen eyes due to incessant tears. That was the drawback of living my life. I had to overcome it all by myself. I doubted my own capabilities; it had been 4 long years now. Raj had been there to share all my joys and sorrows. He was an inseparable part of my life- as important as the air, as vital as the food. To suddenly find that he had chosen to abandon me, that too for just a small reason, a noble cause...it was a challenge for me to survive now. Life is full of challenges, they say-but I felt it. Just when the broken pieces of my life’s puzzle had started to fall in place, when I had started to enjoy my share of happiness, when I knew the meaning of love, when I visualized of a happy married life--it all had come to an abrupt end. It was not just a breakup, but heartbreak! Raj had not just left my life, but had left me clinging to the memories of past, doubting the existence of any future, and pondering over the futility of the present. My heart ached on reminisces of the beautiful relationship we shared. It was all a past now, he had gone- forever;  leaving  behind me and my solitude!

I entered into the room, and closed the door behind.

Had I been overly demanding?  Was I not justified in expecting a little support from him. He was supposed to be my life partner, my better half, still was it that difficult to understand how important it was for me to get those two gifts from him. 

The entire turn of events played like a flashback. 

The memories were as fresh as the tears in my eyes. Raj and I had met for the first time at Disha- a school for disabled children. As a volunteer for NGO, we enjoyed spending some time with the differently able kids. It gave immense mental satisfaction to bring smile for these children, who were fighting with their fate. I visited the school every weekend, but had never noticed Raj, unless that blissful eve of the cultural fest. Amidst the well practiced performances and the cheerful laughter of the children, Raj stood staring at me. His glare had made me self conscious; I too was awed by his personality. The way he played with the group of blind little boys, the way he sang along with the physically handicapped kids, and the way his carefree laughter brought smiles on the face of my dear victims of fate…he was attractive.

After the event got over, I just could not resist the temptation to speak to him, but when he approached me, involuntarily, my heart skipped a beat. He noticed the sudden change in my expressions, or maybe he too wanted to know more about me, and offered me a lift to my home. Some people silently enter your world; just to become an inseparable part of your life- Same was the case with Raj. 

I never knew that the 20 minutes ride to my home would be a start for a new journey of my life. He soon became my best friend , and we did not even realize when we became so close to one another that we started planning for a future together. When I was with him, all problems of the world, of my life -everything seemed bearable. He brought back the lost smile on my face. Not a single sad moment passed in his entertaining company. We were from totally different family backgrounds, yet we blended like the milk and water. He understood the challenges of my life, and supported me- mentally, emotionally and at times, a mere touch of his hand to console me, could make my day. Life was never this simple before his entry. He taught me to find at least some positive aspect in all the mess of my life. He daily made me talk about any positive thing that happened throughout the day, and I started to develop a positive attitude in my wrecked life just for him. I was no longer irritated by the violence at my home. His smile and concern gave me the power to console and even stand up for my mother, whenever dad left her bleeding or crying. He loved me like a parent, he treated me like a kid even though I was mature than most of my peers. Circumstances had made me stronger. It is not easy to live my life- to daily see your mother being beaten by a drunk dad, shouting curses for less dowry even after 15 years of their marriage. When dad was drunk, he even lost all empathy even for Karan, and thrashed him at times. Though God had not given Karan an eye sight, yet he had a heart of gold. He tried to protect mother from the wrath of father, at times he even became victimized- yet , he did his best possible to calm down the head of our family. 

It had been hardly 2 months of my friendship with Raj, when one day he casually asked about my family background.It was a question I dreaded to answer. Yes, I had fabricated a picture perfect story to narrate to the entire world. My father perfected the role of a well settled businessman, the caring and loving head of our family. Mother was a home maker in my story, who worked day and night to ensure happiness of me and my brother. Karan, my younger brother was a student. 

That was the version of my story, I narrated to anyone who asked about my life.

But Raj was different. 

I could never lie to him. Infact within a week of our friendship, he could differentiate between my good and bad mood and often asked about such mood swings in my life. I silently diverted from the topic.

But when he asked about my family, I just could not lie to him.

I told him the truth.

I told him about the poor financial conditions at my home, how my mother worked day and night to earn for us, while dad spent it all for his drinking habits.I told him honestly that Karan did not just go to a school, he went to a blind school. My brother was just like kids in Disha, who could not stand on their foot and needed the wheel chair for movement. I told him that Karan was born as a blind child, so he could never see the way my drunk father thrashed mother asking for more money. Though Karan could never see the physical pain inflicted upon my mom, yet, he empathied with her. 

That was my life, and when you live such a life. You become stronger. 

I was strong. I was different from my peers, I had also witnessed the worse phases of life and so I valued the good. I knew the importance of money, of love, of relationships.

 I realized how complicated life could get. I found solace in bringing smiles on faces of others, and maybe that’s why I enagaged in social services, visited NGO’s, and was concerned about my responsibilities towards the society.

That was a common bond between me and Raj, at least that is what I had believed until today.

But today, once again life had mocked at me.

Barely few hours ago,I was on cloud nine, when Raj had proposed me for marrying him.

For the past 4 years, I had waited for this day. My joys knew no boundaries, even the thought of spending my entire life with him was a mesmerizing one. There could be no better life partner than Raj. Tears of joy rolled down in my eyes. This was the best day of my life so far, and it was just a new beginning.

He hugged me tight, and I felt secure in his grip. I knew he would be there to share all my joys, all my sorrows, to support me in the daily struggle to pacify the circumstances at my home. There was someone to share my responsibilities, towards my mother, towards my handicapped brother, towards the society.

I had everything planned from this moment. I could see a ray of hope leading to a brighter future.

When he handled me the proposal ring, I wanted the moment to freeze, so that I could cherish it forever.

This was the moment I had visualized over a zillion times, and now I was finally living it.

But life never works according to the plans we make.

Reality is bitter, hurting and complicated.

Things do not always turn out the way you want.

This was not a moment for me to be carried away by his love and to forget all the promises I had made to myself.

So, with trembling hands, I took the ring from him.

“What happened Jia, don’t you want to marry me?” he was surprised as I had not put forward my finger for him to slide in the ring.

“I love you Raj, but before committing to you, I want to ask you for two gifts. These are the things I wanted right from my childhood.” And I prepared myself for what was to follow.

“I can give you anything that you want dear. I am all yours. You do not need to ask for anything, I will give whatever is in my hand to make you happy.”

“No Raj, this is not just a usual gift, but something that would be difficult for you. Having seen so much pain in my life, I realise the importance of these two promises, and I understand that most of the men would never agree to give me the promise for these two things. But this is my only condition for marriage. I will marry only the man, who is a man enough to grant me these two wishes.”

I stared at his face to gauge his changing expressions.

He knew I was not joking. He also knew I loved him a lot.

“Jia, I know you are above the materialistic things of the world. I have this feeling that if these wishes are the eligibility criterion for your groom, them they would be some real important ones. So please share with me. I will try to fulfill them.”

Things were going as per my plan. 

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath……………………………………………………….

<<< What could be the two wishes that shook the deep bond of love between Jia and Raj, and left Jia alone for rest of her life…or was she alone at all?...read on..>>>>>

 THANKS.

  ISHITA BHOWN- I'll come up with the 2nd part of this story on 13th September, 2012. So abuse me till then. :-)