ISHITA BHOWN SPEAKS (Member's Post) !!!

MEMBER's BLOG POST -->>

              Miss Ishita Bhown is one of the youngest authoresses today. Her first book- "To Get Her" is already one of the favorite novels of youth. I have been her friend since her book released. I generally don't talk to authors but her humbleness is something that is to be complimented. I asked Miss Ishita to be a Member of Our Blog and she agreed. I find it too celebratory to share it with all of you that she will land up on this Blog space 13th of every month. This is her first post here. Do read it and let me know how much you like our new member. :-) 

FOREWORD BY MISS ISHITA BHOWN:

                  When I was asked to write something for the blog, I was in a deep sense of confusion, what topic could bring some difference to a blog that is famous for the huge variety of topics it has! While still pondering over the topic, I logged into Facebook, a solution of all problems-- it came to my rescue again..I saw an update from an acquaintance, feeling sad about the greatest confusion of her life- love for parents, or love for lover.. Her status made me sad, and instantly gave me a topic to write.. Hope you like the story!

INTERVIEW!!! No, Not Really ;-)

           It was around 4 in the noon, Jia was busy giving the last minute touches to her makeup. She rechecked herself in front of the mirror, just one last time before stepping out into the reality of the world- before meeting Kaushik- before the “interview”.

          Mentally, she revised the long list of questions she had prepared, took a deep breath and brought back the lost smile on her otherwise glowing face.

Sometimes, one has to be strong and take bold decisions, move with the flow of life..in the direction that leads to unknown destinations..but that is destiny-The power of fate. The sense of responsibility. The true meaning of love.The saddest irony of life.

           Looking at her, the radiance of her smile, the serenity of her face and simplicity of her looks, anyone could get flattered. Kaushik was no exception.  The light pink salwaar suit reflected on her fair skin. The black kaajal complimented her big and innocent eyes. She was born attractive, but her beautiful heart complimented the looks, and made her a perfect prospect. She was always the one to value relationships, and make sacrifices for her beloved ones. If things were to move her way, she could take all the pain of the world upon herself and still be happy to make others smile. That was exactly what she was doing right now. She hid the deep pain that bore in her heart, the dreams that were shattered, and the hopes that never got fulfilled. Yet, she was satisfied; she was a responsible daughter, who had decided to give up her first love for the love of her parents. She had to go and meet Kaushik, she had to marry him. She loved Anky, but life and love are the most painful things. Moreover, she herself was unsure, if the bonding between her and Anky was that of love, or was it merely a strong friendship, wrongly interpreted as love.

           Love, what this really meant.People keep writing and talking big and heavy words about it, that it brought pain, it made life miserable. If that was Love, then why people longed for it? Why was life so complicated, could there be no simple parameter to decide these crucial things of life- like love, friendship, future? Life would have been simpler, if there was some way to be self aware, to know your own feelings and define them.

            If only she could be sure of her own feelings towards Anky, if only she could be confident enough to tell her parents about him, to atleast express her desire to marry him.Maybe they could have given it a thought. Though that was unlikely to happen at this stage. Rejection—the most feared word. 

           No, it was not the time to think about all these”ifs” and “buts”. Things were decided. She was going for the “interview”. That is how she treated it. She was given 2 hours to talk to a guy, discuss all that she wanted, and finally conclude if he could be a life partner. It was similar to the job interviews, only the stakes were much higher. Her life was at stake, her future was at stake. There was no pressure from her parents’ side, neither from Kaushik’s side. They could always “reject” each other—but she was honest atleast to herself. She loved Anky, and could happily live with him forever, but since the practicalities of the real world did not allow them to have a future together, so she was ready to accept whatever life had to offer. She would adjust with whoever her parents thought was suitable for her. This interview was merely a formality now. She knew the outcome of this “interview”.There was no chance of rejection. Their families had discussed this matrimonial alliance, they had interacted a few times over the phone, photographs had been exchanged. Kaushik was smart, well educated, well settled, caring and clearly her parents’ first choice among the many other proposals they had received for Jia. He was not like Anky, but maybe he was good in his own ways. She brushed aside the thoughts of Anky. He was a past now. Kaushik was her future.

        She picked up her handbag, and left..locking her past behind the doors..marching ahead for the future. She signaled for an auto and directed him to leave for SJS mall. The place where she and Anky often met, the same place where she had finally broken off with him. It was almost a week now, when she was informed about Kaushik and this meeting. Her heart ached revisiting that sleepless night. …the worst conversation she had with Anky-

“Jia, I know my stand well. I love you and I am sure about marrying you. Do you love me?” he had put forward the question directly for the first time.

The question sent goosebumps for Jia, her heart rejoiced at the proposal she had just received. Tears of joy rolled her down her cheeks. She wanted the time to stop, so that she could live this moment forever.

She wanted to shout at her loudest volume—“Yes! Yes! Yes! I love you too..and I want to marry you!!” 

Instead she softly replied—“I do not know if it is love, yes , you are special. I know I can be happy with you. Life would be perfect if we stayed together. But Anky, we both know it’s not feasible.” And she was silent now..no words could explain the pain in her heart.

“It’s not impossible Jia, trust me! Give me some time! You know I am working hard! I get a promotion in next 3 months, and then a salary hike as well. Can’t you give me that much time?” he begged.

“I can give you all my time Anky, I have been giving you all my time..for the past so many months..all my time, all my thoughts, all my actions, everything just revolved around you. But, I cannot make promises that I can’t fulfill”

“I do not ask you for promises Jia, just convince your parents! 3 months is all that I need!”

“Anky, convince them on what basis? What should I tell them-that you may have been the best parents ever, you may be worried about my marriage, you maybe getting excited about seeing me as a bride, you may have hunted for a perfect gentleman with a handsome salary, and good background, you maybe dreaming of a happy future for me! But sorry Mom and dad, I do not care! I want to marry someone who is exactly my age, facing the same career struggle that I face ,who loves me a lot, yet cannot ask you for my hand, nor is in a position to talk to his own parents unless his career reaches some stability.”  Her heart ached at the harsh words she had just uttered. But it was a reality.

“Jia, I am not yet prepared. Please tell me what should I do, things take some time, I am just 23, I am sure whoever your parents find for you would be older than me..and obviously at a greater career position than me.”

“Anky, I am sorry! I cannot hurt my parents. I cannot tell them about us, coz you are not prepared. I cannot cheat them and you by carrying on in this relationship! I want to call it off!” she was shocked at her own decision!

“Jia, it’s not about a day or two.But a question of lifetime- would you be able to live forever with someone you don’t love?”

“Love happens as you spend some time with a person. My parents had an arranged marriage. They love each other. Your parents had a similar case! Anky, we both have to move on!” 

There was a moment of deadly silence, of helplessness.

He got up and left.

Left her, left her life…….

She got up, and left for her home in opposite direction…

It had been a week and they had not talked. Each minute they thought of one another, yet, they succumbed to fate.

It was her fate, that she had to meet Kaushik…maybe Anky too would meet someone soon.

The auto came to a halt. She had reached SJS.

As she stepped into the mall to meet Kaushik, a message beeped into her phone.

She was relieved to hear from him , after 7 long days.

She did not care, if Kaushik was waiting for her..she opened the message that read---

“Today is the turning point of your life dear. All the best. Go and talk with an open mind, it’s a question of your life..make a wise decision..i cannot let my princess go to someone who does not deserve her. Don’t worry about me. I will be fine. I loved a girl and the memory of that love is enough for me to spend entire life. I understand your concern for your parents and my inability to convince them about us at this stage. I have no doubts that together , we could be the happiest couple..but maybe fate has something else in store..You don’t feel bad about anything..you are playing your role of a daughter..play it with perfection- like you play all other roles- a friend, a lover, a girlfriend and most important a companion through thick and thin. Now go on..your future awaits you…..”

Just then her phone vibrated, it was Kaushik’s call, he was waiting for her….

Thanks.

ISHITA BHOWN !!!