Jo Bheji Thi Duaa... Woh Jaa Ke Aa Gayi Hai Laut Ke Sadaa !!!

603rd BLOG POST -->>

            I wasn't a very quiet girl in my childhood. I always made it sure that I will drop in wherever someone would be planning something exciting and adventurous. I always had eyes of 25 boys on me because the way I carried out myself in fashionable stuffs was something I was known for in my colony. I always enjoyed the attention. I have forgot even the number of love letters with names and sometimes nameless stuck on the door of my house. While my parents hated all these stuffs happening around me, I enjoyed it. But I never let any boy come closer to me because I was happy with the name that the boys of my colony gave me "Kisi k haath na aane waali item". Whenever any boy used to stalk me by going over the limits, I used to slap him in front of all his buddies and how attitudinal was that! Every girl used to bitch about me whenever I used to be away from them. The boys used to take help of several girls too to let their feelings reach my ears. And the only reply that I gave every girl was,"Tell him to get above my level". Please don't hate me for this. :-)

            I passed my 10th std with 95% and my 12th with 89%. That is enough to introduce myself. I wasn't a bimbo, at least. I had beauty with lots of brain. With the appreciation for my beauty that I kept getting regularly from the boys, uncle-aunties, relatives etc, I made it sure that it does not effect my studies. I always wanted to study and become the Director of any organization that is known for its excellence and determination. Like everyone, even I wanted to have a boyfriend but not on the cost of career, life and time. I wanted to achieve something that the children of my age didn't even think. And therefore, whenever I used to get those proposals, I used to ask boys to get above my level because I wanted to be in relationship with someone whose thoughts and actions would have been greater than me. But I got none till my 12th std and that made me be Single when every Good-looking and ugly girl were enjoying their Committed life with foolish boys throwing money at every shop and restaurant for them. :-) I wasn't even hungry for these kind of entertainment from boys as my father-mother were town's best Doctors who earned millions in a month. I had my own ATM card at the age of 13 and I was never asked about the amount of money that I withdrew every another day. Once, I even withdrew 10,000 rupees while shopping at Bandra but my parents never asked me to CONTROL the expenditures. Why would they? I was their only child. :-)

               I joined BMS in the best college of Mumbai. Everyone around me was very happy. I was the most happiest person in the world as I got a level ahead in my life to reach where I wanted myself to be- DIRECTOR. :-) My parents gifted me the first Mobile Handset of my life. What can you expect more than a Nokia N Series that was the most desirable handset for youths those days. In this college, as soon as I began attending lectures, I got the same attention from boys that I got in my school. But as usual, I kept ignoring them.  Once I was stuck in the Mumbai's great monsoon and this guy from my class helped me to reach home as he took me under his umbrella and helped me get out of that bloody floody(Ok, this Flood is done Floody only for rhyme :-)) road. I thanked him a lot and shared my number with him. We started growing up as good buddies day by day. We chatted through SMSes and I became addicted to it because of the sense of humour he had. After First semester, we even started being together in college in front of all leading to which everyone came to know that we share a very good friendship. But everyone knew that we weren't committed. 

             One day, when we were sitting at CCD Bandra, he took my left hand in his hands and started kissing my fingers. I felt awkward for a moment but then I thought of ignoring it. Then, through out our meeting, he kept my hand in his hand. I was shocked at his gesture. I would not have minded it as first place because its okay to be cozy sometimes but in front of so many people was weird. When I reached home, he text me,"I liked the Nail paint on your long nails and thus, that was a compliment from my side". I smiled. I was so happy to see that I have someone so close to me who can make me feel special and give me the pleasure of being a girl. After that we started getting quite touchy and cozy many-a-times and I was okay with it.

             Now, we were in 4th Semester and I also became friends with half of the class. All the boys and girls became good friends with me because I was always there to pay whenever they wanted to have something extra-ordinary. :-) Because of John, I also became good friends with two of his childhood buddies- Piyush and Vijay. But I always felt uncomfortable with these two. As they used to see my closeness with John, they always tried to touch me. But some boys never know why girls allow only few boys to be close to them. Girls very well know about the intention that the boy's touch has. And whenever John touched me, it felt nice. Whenever he kissed my hands or cheeks in excitement, that was so pure and friendly. But whenever these guys kept their hands on my waist or shoulder for pictures or while walking, I always felt that I am being USED. Just because they were John's childhood buddies, I kept quiet. It happened umpteenth time that Piyush's hands touched my breast and he pretended as if he didn't even know about it. But there was nothing that I could have done.

             One day, John called me at 3 AM while we were having SMS chats as usual. He was very nervous and fearful in the beginning but later on he told me something that made me hate myself as much as possible. He told me that being a girl is very difficult and he got to know this only when he became my friend as he didn't talk to a girl before me. That was very beautiful. But what he told after this was shameful. He told me that he checked Vijay's Laptop that day. He found a folder named "Tanisha touching pics" and it had several pics where either Piyush or Vijay had their hand on my body. Whenever one of them used to touch me, the another one used to click it privately. There were even the pics when we used to stand in queue some times when any one of them used to stand behind me and keep their hands little above from my waist level which almost looked as if they had their hands on the breast level of my body. I was shocked to hear about this. But fortunately, John deleted that folder from their hard disk. I kissed John the next day for helping me from getting into a big trouble. This was more helpful than the one he did on the first day when we met under the ambiance of Mumbai Monsoon. He then told me to be physical friendly with him only when two of us would be together and avoid it in front of the class as people think I'm the one who'll allow any boy to touch herself anywhere because of what Piyush and Vijay kept doing it with me by showing it to other boys too.

              One day, I remembered all the moments when these two bastards used me. I was too sad that I kept quiet and suffered this which is almost a molestation. I hated myself so much that I kept sitting under the shower for 8 whole hours. No one was at home which made it possible for me to act as stupid as possible. I wanted to clean myself. I just wanted to let all those thoughts leave my mind so that I can start loving myself again. It was hard for me to believe that the girl who was known as "Haath na aane waali" was being handled by two boys and kept getting touched almost everywhere. I knew that telling parents was of no use. I thought of something. I called Piyush and Vijay at my home. As soon as they entered my home after 30 minutes of calling them, they hugged me. And as usual, their hands moving on my back was making me hate myself more. I took them to my bedroom and started talking with them. After few minutes both of them came closer to me and started touching me more weirdly than before. I controlled myself. Then they even started kissing my cheeks and neck. I kept silent. I was waiting for the right moment to come. 

            After few minutes, BANG came the sound and watchman of my society came in my bedroom. Both of them got shocked. I cued him to do what I asked him to before few minutes. He didn't. I was shocked. I ran towards the watchman, pulled his gun and shot both the rapists. Just breaking a virginity does not makes one a Rapist, but making her feel uncomfortable by being physical also vindicates them in that category. The watchman ran away to be never to be seen again. After coming out of the shower, I called this watchman at home before calling Piyush and Vijay. I lied and acted and made him believe that I loved him and wanted to run away with him and get married. He agreed. But I told him that there are two boys whom I want to kill before running away with him as they are a threat to us. I told him that I have crores in my account so not to worry about money. But I don't know what made him fear when he came into my bedroom as planned. Whatever!!!

             Today, it has been 5 years since I am in jail. My parents don't get patients anymore  and they have gone weak fighting for my case. The world sees them as parents who gave birth to a girl who is a criminal. The police mislead the case and make it look as if I was enjoying with the boys in my bedroom but later when I saw that they have filmed our intimate moments, I shot them. Police also found those pictures that were saved under the folder "Tanisha touching pics" by recovering all the files through a software. Hence it was proved to the world that I had several such moments with both the boys. John committed suicide the next day after I was shown on several media channels as a girl who killed her two boyfriends because of getting filmed by them. It was hard for him to accept the fact that his best friend was shown in this light to the world. Today, the Criminals are being sympathized for their Death in early age while I, the girl who kept silent for months and kept getting uncomfortable is behind the bars for the whole lifetime and seen as someone who has downgraded the purity of a woman. I have nothing to say but only a message to give to all the young girls in the company of boys:

"Be comfortable with your best male buddies. Let them touch you, kiss you, hold you but only when you feel comfortable about it. The day you start feeling that they do it purposely to enjoy the physical charm of yours, either slap them hard in front of all or abuse them without thinking of the world. Once these dogs will get insulted in front of all, they'll never try to USE you again nor will other boys those who saw you protecting yourself. I still remember the moments when John and I used to get cozy and kissed each other in excitement. That still makes me smile because those were the physical moments with purity, respect and love. But whenever I remember those pictures that these policemen showed me that they found from Piyush and Vijay's laptop, I start banging my head on the walls of this jail. All the policemen keep doing what those two bastards did with me thinking that I am the girl who is fond of physicality. My Life has become Hell in jail. Every proved criminal in the jail celebrates whenever they come to know that their hearing is being extended but I am the only one who is waiting for the court to hang me as soon as possible. I don't want my soul under this skin of body anymore that is a toy for these policemen. If this message of mine gets published in tomorrow's paper as I am going to hand this to my lawyer, and even One Silent Girl will save herself from these bastards, I will be the happiest criminal to be hanged to death anytime. Till then, girls, play safe. Don't let anyone make your BODY a TOY for their lust and inhumanity. Now, I can die in peace."

       This is a Fiction Post but a True Story for many Girls who are still silent. KICK THESE BASTARDS!!!

  Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU