Ye Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai !!!

              578th BLOG POST -->>

           As my college has ended 3 days ago, my mother keeps talking about three primary topics with me: 1. What about your choices for MCA college? 2. What about your novel that you have to write? 3. What about your Graduation friends? First two questions are fine but the third one has lots of question marks whenever she asks about it. She is surprised that I haven't met anyone since the college has ended and neither have I shown any excitement about meeting them in vacation. She wants me to be as social as possible but she gets worried when she sees my inclination towards books/blog/newspaper more than relationships. Her saying is that she still remember those friends from her school/college but its her unluckiness that she is in Mumbai while all of them are still in North India because of which she can just dream about them. And she also adds to this that I am very lucky to have all my friends in the same city and even those who are far away can be met in 3-4 hours. But, I have a different perspective to this. 

              In my 11th std, I was sent to hostel. On the very first day, I met three boys who were allotted the room before me. After 2 months, 2 more boys came as our room partners. I started getting involved with them more than the first three boys. Then, in the second last month when I was in Pune, a cousin of a roommate(one of the first three boys who were allotted the room before me) came to stay with us for a week in our room as he had some training in Pune. I started talking to him and my relation started strengthening with him more than his brother who was staying with me right from the first day when I entered the hostel. I didn't had mobile then but I asked him for his phone number and noted it down below to the numbers of other roommates in my personal diary. After 2 years of leaving Pune, I shifted to Nashik where both these brothers lived. I was very happy that I will get a chance to meet. But not with both of them, only with Rehan Bhai who lived with us for 1 week. I had no curiosity to meet with the one with whom I shared the room for months. And with Rehan Bhai, I met for 6-7 times in a year while with his brother, I met for just once in Nashik.

              So, relationship for me is not about the length for which it has been but about the strength it has shown in the least period of time when you were with that person. Some college friends with whom I have shared the roof for some 2.5 years in Graduation are more closer to me than the ones with whom I have passed my whole childhood of 10 years. And even in this- 3 years Graduation, there are many classmates who just remain an ex-classmate for me now. I haven't promoted them into the category of "Friends". It happens in the cases of those children too who are sent away for studies, either at grandparent's place or to boarding school. After coming out of such places, when they go back to their parent's residence, they feel awkward living with them, they find their grandparents/caretakers more emotionally closer than parents. So, its not about the "tag" your relationship gets by default, its about the kind of emotional connect you have with person. 

               Sometimes, you pass most of your time with a beautiful person of an opposite sex but you never fall for them, but suddenly someone who entered in your life just some weeks ago wins all your attention and you start loving him/her without doubts and conditions. It happens because you start feeling a kind of commonness with the person. And as commonalities define the Personalities, you tend to incline towards those who talks what you want to listen. And hence, while chatting with those you know for years doesn't excite you while some you know for few weeks become your favorite partner to hang-out with. Some does not have good secret-sharing relationship with their brother/sister but they have it with their cousin who not even resides in the same state. :-) A person sees for a certain qualities in another person, if he finds it in him/her, he starts liking the person in the first meeting itself or let the other person die for him, he'll never respect the relationship with him till the end. :-) So, its not right to predict someone's relationship with someone by guessing the number of days they have been together for because the length of relationship does not define its quality but the amount of emotional connect between them does. So, Old is Not Gold every time. :-) And it happens with me mostly that I become closer to people in 2-3 meetings itself if I like them else I never consider them as a close friend even after the person does all kinds of favour to me. :-) Does this happen with you too?

      Enough.

     Thanks.

     ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU