I haven't seen GOD, I have seen YOU !!!

            567th BLOG POST -->>

       Every time she does something, I do nothing but give her a salute in my mind. Every time, she has stood for family, I had just respect in my mind for her. Every time, she has done something for someone selflessly, I had just tried to learn the art of humanity from her. Every time she has stood in kitchen and cooked a new dish by reading those cookery books, I had just seen how creative and curious one can be. Every time she has done those job where the men of my house failed, I got an example of how women are equally powerful. But then, every time I saw her pampering and caressing me, I felt proud to have her as my mother. Today, she turned of the age that is equivalent to the Pollard's highest score in IPL(Now, go and search what is it if you are not a big fan of Cricket). I wished her the soonest by waking her up at 12 AM last night. She became emotional. Actually, it happens. A lady who never celebrated her birthday since 1994 because her sister committed suicide just 2 days before her birthday, when sees that her son is so curious about celebrating it, feels palpable and emotions starts churning. A very Happy birthday to the dearest person of my life.

          Whenever in doubt, I go to her. Whenever in distress, I think of her. Whenever I feel to quit, I recall her dreams she has for me. She is almost a motivating factor to me. She, herself, gets demotivated almost 10 times in a month, but she ensures that she motivates me whenever I am about to take any decision in my life. Every step I take in my life is for her. Every time, I achieve some thing academically or any thing which gives me a hope that I may earn a lot in future, I start dreaming of all the pleasures and luxuries I will provide to my mother. Her decision to have just one child so that she can give her full attention to him. Her decision to earn to raise the standard of living of the family. Her decision of living in a city like Nashik/Mumbai without my father just to provide comfort and pleasure to me so that I can study without any stress- makes me so proud that sometimes I feel why don't I have such kind of strength to face life as she has. She does so much for me and my father that even we don't do that much for ourselves. This is the amount of difference she brings in our family. From a hopeless family, she turns 2 of us into brisk performers. :-)

          I remember, in 2007, when my father bought me home from college (with leaving certificate of 11th failed), it was February. After 2 months, when my mother's birthday arrived, and I bought some delicacies at home to celebrate her birthday, the only thing my mother said to me while having dinner was "I don't need all these gifts, beta. What I need is Your Success. I need to see my son at a place where every mother wants to see her son at. I don't like seeing you sitting at home and crying in a corner of a room. I want you to move out of this room, go out in this world, come back at home, hug me and tell me the good news about your performances and records." I was already going through the worst phase of my life. And listening such thing from a mother who was in tears till then on her birthday didn't ceased me from crying. In few minutes, I felt I was the biggest culprit as I made my mother cry even on her birthday because of the failures I was creating for my life.

           Then, in the same year, when in October, I was celebrating my birthday, I was admitted in 11th std again till then. My parents arranged a special dinner at home. And while having dinner, I was thinking about the failures of my life of the last ten months. I remembered how my parents stopped supporting me for 2-3 months because they were in a fit of rage after seeing how I fooled them during my adventurous life in Hostel at Pune. While eating, my mother asked, "Beta, how's everything? Did you liked it?" I was already feeling a guilt within me throughout the dinner that I am not performing but still my parents are doing the same as they would have if I would have been performing with the best ability I possess. I replied with tears rolling off my cheeks,"I don't need all these gifts, mummy. What I need is your's and papa's support. I need love and affection from both of you. I need an understanding from both of you. I need both of you. I don't need success, party and money." And I started weeping aloud. And as per my little memory, what I can remember is, that was the last day when my mother shouted at me for my failure. After that she has just scolded for a while whenever I have committed any big mistake but she keeps on reminding the last fumble so that I don't start flying with over-confidence in the sky. 

            It has been 5 years since then and I see my self in the best place I could have ever been. And it is all because of this Birthday Queen. Mom, thanks for letting your son come back in life. Otherwise, I already lost a will in 2007, then in 2008 and for the last time in 2009. And since last 3 years, the lack of failure in life is because of the profuse efforts you put in my life. Thanks for being unconditionally mine. :-) It is hard for every son to define the amount of love he has for his mother so without trying it, I will just wish that you get long and healthy life so that you can stay with me till my last breathe. 

P.S.: I still remember how I cried thinking of my mother in the same situation while writing Tumhe Sub Kuch Pata Tha Na, Maa ???

     Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU