He is GAY. What's Your Problem?

            552nd BLOG POST -->>

       Whenever I ask any of my friend who have just entered an organization about what were the questions that were being asked to them in an interview, the one question which I normally get to hear from them is "Tell us something about YOURSELF". Now, there are many of us who don't even know about ourselves. I remember I and my friends were playing a game once. We were to write 20 points about ourselves out of which 10 would be the best part we have in us and the other 10 would be the worst things we have in us. Then we also had to reveal something which is too shameful for the society but we committed it once in our life. And so many things came out through that Group Discussion. I have seen development in my personality and thought process after that interaction. That was a moment where I learnt so many things. I learnt that it's not necessary to be the best. Neither is it necessary to be like everyone in this world. We can be something which people don't get to see often. But we should not be ashamed to tell people about it. We should be open about ourselves. And if we don't, something like this happens to us-


             "Hey remember me? well, I wanted to tell that its been quite a while dat I was away..so cudnt read ur blogs n all.. kaise ho? and, another thing...check out my wall. u will know something. shayad uske baad ur attitude towards me might change. lekin i cudnt control any longer. bahut der tak chhupake rakkha tha,...koi chori toh nahi kia na...then y shud i give a wrong picture? im gay. and quite a decent and honest one. i know normally kya perception hai logo ka GAYS ke baare mein. but mujhse aur control nahi hota. thak gaya hu jhoot bolte bolte.sach toh yeh hai ke im attracted to men. but I never do things that portray gays in a cheaper light. main bahut senti hu, cheerful hu, thoda effeminate hu, par kabhi kisi ko hurt nahi kia, kisi se flirt nahi kia, etc etc./.
im sory I took so much time of you but mujhe aaj ye bolna hi tha. and that too to u bcoz i admire ur writing and u very much. jo bhi mann mein aye reply karna. i will accept." 


              The above paragraph is a message I got from a regular reader of my blogs. We had chats for some 3-4 times before in 2011 but I never knew this about him. Today, in the morning, when I saw this message I was shocked. I wasn't shocked about him being a gay but I was shocked to see his mental state because of the mental pressure society has built on him. He updated his Facebook status saying that "Judge as much as you can. But let me tell all- I am a GAY". Now, consider yourself at his place and imagine yourself doing this. How hard it is. Even if you aren't, try writing this just as a good sense of humour and you will find raunchy and sarcastic comments on your status. It is very hard to tell the world what you are, and especially when, you are something at which society laughs and consider it to be ungraceful. Now, I don't understand why do people have concerns about someone's sexual orientation. 


             I saw the same kind of thing in Roadies Audition too. A gay came and he asked them to hide his face, name, city name and almost everything which would make the viewers recognize him. At that time, I thought that this may be fake or pre-planned but today, after reading this message, I am sure that almost all the gays in this world are suffering from the same kind of depression. A depression where a person can't tell about HIMSELF openly in the society as he would be laughed on. He has a fear that his parents, his friends and almost everyone he knows may leave him apart and isolate him from their group. He even told me that the boys who used to make his fun in college later asked him to sleep with them. This guy, now, after revealing to the world that he is Gay, is laughing on them that at least he is true to himself and society that people know who he is but these boys are hiding themselves from the world and dying to experience what they always want to. 


             I don't understand why society pushes such people behind. There are only two options in this world in relation to Sexual approach- Either getting attracted towards Opposite Sex or Your Own Sex. Now, if someone does't qualifies to be in the former one, he automatically comes in to the latter one. Now, why to laugh on him? Why to make him feel that he is a disgrace to society? Can't people allow him to live life as everyone does? I think that this should be stopped. Whenever I meet a new person, I ask about his job, schooling, degrees, friends, location, native place and almost everything but I have never taken their Sexual Orientation in to the consideration to know what they actually are. Their Sexual Orientation is something which will bring no effect in my life. We should stop judging people on the criteria of their sexual approach. 


            Stupid Indians say that being a Gay or Lesbian is against our culture. Haven't you seen those carvings on the walls of caves or other walls where nude ladies are being carved on the walls having intimate moments with each other? Haven't you seen two ladies and a man having Sex in the same carving? So, this is something which is happening in our country from a long time. It is just that people are in minority who do this today, that doesn't make it illegal or a crime. You can not bully someone for being a Gay. I am too disturbed after reading the message of this guy and after talking to him for an hour. He is depressed because people are not allowing him to live peacefully. They are sending him Gay jokes and insulting SMSes from the time he has revealed himself. Stop this, friends. Give him a chance to live his life on his own terms. And Sexual Orientation is just a thing about a person out of lots of thing. It is not the basic thing you see in a person while talking to him/her for the first time. So, please ignore it rather than giving it an importance and making a fool out of them in front of everyone. Understand, they are not Gays or Lesbians by choice, it is something which their Body has asked them to be just like mine and your's body asked us to get appealed by the Opposite sex's body. UNDERSTAND !!!


 Thanks.


 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU