I Live For Myself Rather Than Living to Prove Myself !!!

            546th BLOG POST -->>

       Being a Blogger and a well-known Book Reviewer, I keep getting many invitations for book launch and other activities associated with it. Today, one of my female friend who is kind-of-organizer of all this asked me to participate in a contest. The contest is about writing a Romantic story in 5000 words. The stories selected will be printed in a book and published in association with a renowned Publishing house. I refused to write a story for this competition. She kept insisting me to write as she feels that I can do justice to a romantic fiction story and it is easy for me to get selected over others' stories which would be sent from wanna-be(s). At last when I told my final decision to her that I am not going to write any story for this competition, at least for this time, she was upset. She asked me the reason for this stubbornness and I told her,"This is not giving me even a bit of excitement or thrill in my heart. I am not feeling any kind of passion to do it. And I don't feel like writing a story of 5000 words when I can already convey a good story in just 2000 words. So I am not interested in doing this just because someone wants it in 5000 words. I can't. Forgive me for now. Maybe, next time, if I'll get that thrill within me, I'll participate". She retaliated,"But you are a good blogger. You can get printed. Why not try? Why not show everyone that "This is Blogger Abhilash"?? " I replied,"I write for myself. I don't write to prove myself." And after listening this, she was surprised about the fact I was living with. She said that this one sentence of mine will change her attitude towards life. I started smiling. I was happy that she understood why I wasn't interested in this competition. And she didn't forced me after that. She wrote numerous thanks after that. 


            And seriously, you see your past and analyse that what have you been doing till now. You will find that there has not been even 10% in your life when you would have lived for yourself. One day, when I was writing my personal diary, I thought about my life. And what I saw was something which shocked me. In all my school days, I studied madly to prove the people in my colony to know that I was better than their child. Then, in the 10th std, I studied with the aim to show others what my percentage is. In 12th std, after failing for 11th, I filled the form for Science even when the world was asking me to join Commerce as they knew I can't manage Science. I selected Science just to show everyone that I am capable of doing what you think I'm incapable of. I struggled badly to cope up with the portion of 11th and 12th both. I know what those 3 months were like when I was mugging up all those Physic's equations, Chemistry's reaction and Math's theorem. I was just experiencing hell. After seeing all this, I realized that I never did what I wanted to. I always did what was needed to prove others about me. 


             Then, my graduation started. I came in with a new thought of doing what I like rather than doing something to prove my classmates that I am capable of doing what they aren't. But then I got a person whom I challenged indirectly that I'll do better than you. She had put her efforts in studies while I kept slogging to score more than her ANYHOW. At last, the first semester's result was out and I was 5% ahead of her. I was again writing my diary and I realized that I broke the promise I gave to myself. I, once again did something to prove others that I am better than someone rather than doing something to make myself happy. And it was the last time when I got involved in any kind of race in regards of marks or performance. I always did everything to keep myself happy. I never tried to prove anyone. I participated in all the College's Competitions from last 2 years and won some and lost many. But I did it because I wanted to. I played Sports in the 2nd year while I excused myself from it in the 1st year. Because, in 1st year, I didn't wanted to play it, in the 2nd year I wanted to play for myself. 


             Even in the field of Blogging(for which I'm mainly known for), I have never tried to prove myself. I never wrote it to challenge my critics that "See, I can write about every damn thing. Either its politics or cricket or entertainment or book reviews or any damn thing." I always wrote anything when I wanted to write it and feel good about myself that I wrote about a topic which I always wanted to. I never wrote anything to prove to any other blogger that my potential is higher and interminable. I always kept myself away from any kind of race in blogging. People keep participating in blogging contests to prove other bloggers that they have more creativity than them but I haven't participated still. Why should I prove this to others that I write well? Why should I prove to others than I am better than majority of bloggers? Why should I prove to others that I am the one with lakhs of followers? I will participate in any such contest only when I will feel good about myself and I'll feel that I should participate in this and see whether I get selected or not.


             So, I just want to say -Start living for your moments, your happiness, your excitement rather than proving others that your life has more moments, more happiness and more excitement than theirs? Only you can review the best about yourself. No one else can know you better than you know yourself. So, why do many of us try to prove others that I am the better one or I am the best? Be yourself and do anything only when your heart persuades you to do it. Else, if you think that you have to prove others, don't do it. Because others can never feel good about what you do or what you are going to do. They'll keep judging you and they'll keep behaving judgmental by analyzing what you are by seeing what you were in your past. So, for me, I study for myself. Not to prove others that I am good in it. I write for myself. Not to prove myself to others that I am a writer with lots of potential. I live for myself. I don't live to prove anyone that my life has more prosperity than them.


   Thanks. 




 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU