"Dost Toh Aate Jaate Rehte Hain"

            541st BLOG POST -->>

       The last days of my college has begun. There are more 6 weeks to attend and then, all these friends will become a past to me. If I don't return back in this college for MCA, even the campus and all the moments passed out here will become past. The routine in which I am inhabited to, will be changed. As soon as I realize that there is not even 30 days to cherish the moments with my college friends, several memories starts haunting me. The moments of past when I left those people whom I liked and loved so much starts revolving around me. I start feeling nervous. Nervous not for the future but the way I have moved further with life. I am a human being. In the same way, all these people who are human being had emotions just as I had. But, the way I had to leave some of them behind to carry myself ahead was really painful. For them, I was materialistic. For me, I was an ambitious person with a stringent heart. I need to melt myself a little. But I don't because there are still years ahead to live. I'll meet many more people. I'll make some more close friends. Then, I'll have to leave them too for the next target. Again an emotional drama everywhere around and then, again an accusation of being materialistic will have to dealt with. 


          Recently, I saw a Roadies audition where a very pretty girl from Delhi says that Roadies is my childhood dream and I want to make it real for me. I know that I will be left by my friends as Roadies brings out all the bad a person has in himself but still I will continue because "Dost toh aate jaate rehte hain". This last 6 words uttered from her mouth is exactly what I feel about myself and my life. There are so many friends whom I can't even count and name. There are many of them whom I never call but they keep on calling me because they had someone called "Abhilash" who played a big part in their life. For me, even they played a very big part but the problem is that they "played" and they are not "playing". I always try to focus of things which are in the tense of "-ing". The things which are -ed and the things which are about to happen are the things I am least bothered about. Currently, I know that these friends are moving towards my past with each day. For this, I try to be around them as much as I can. I try to make them laugh as much as I can. I share some emotional and personal experiences with them to make them know something about "Bloody Me". I do it because once when they will be left, it will be hard to organize a Re-union and fuck each other's brain in the same manner as we do today. So, its better to spend as much glossy moments as possible today rather than going in the tomorrow and then crying for the incomplete past. 


             I am little selfish( or you can say that I am little more inclined towards) when it comes to selecting People and Life. I select Life. I know it is going to end in some years. But, even these people are going to end one by one. :-) Right? I know it is very hard to think this way. And I am facing a lot of difficulty in writing this on a social platform. But, when it is me, I have no doubts in revealing my original self. One day, either they will die or I'll. Who'll remember me once when I'll die? No One. What they'll remember is the way I lead my life. If it would be a failing end, they will give a bad example of mine for years. If it would be successful, they'll give my instances to many for years and the same will continue. I want to remain Immortal for them. I don't want to end in time-being. It would be good if I'll go where they are going, I'll join where they are joining, it would be good even if I'll stay where they are staying but, will it be nice if I fail after being with them for this short while? Obviously, No. So, its better to concentrate on my life first. And then on these persons who are very close to me. Closeness develops because we allow it to. If we allow ourselves to be stronger while parting the closeness and destroying the magnetic force between us, we can succeed easily. Yes, there will be a big emotional turmoil but anything which is harder is done by crossing the paths of hurdles and obstacles. Right? 


             I hope that I'll meet the best people of my life ahead in my journey towards being immortal for these people. But, I don't expect them to turn around when they see me ever again in my path. I would feel a little pain when I'll see them ignoring me but it will not change me much. It will make me work harder because I'll see my past in a glance and I'll remember all the powerful and firm decisions I took then to reach where I am today. Even when I see myself today and compare it to what I was in 2009, I find a big rise in the graph of my improvement. And this improvement came because I left some close people behind and moved forward. At every step of life, I had to dump the people and go ahead with LIFE. And its beautiful to see the number of steps I walked after calling that re-starting point the End point. From that point which I claimed to be the end, turned out to be the start for me. But for those people, it was the End point because they choose relationship before life. Today, they have friends whom they can call at 2 AM. I don't have any. I don't even need any. I have a life. I have that in which I find myself secure and honored. 


            In few weeks, I'll have to dump some close people again. But to remain immortal in their memory and to be the winner in the race of life and people. I want to run ahead than my life and reach the destination before it reaches there and announces my retirement(death). So, I am just praying God to give me strength to take decisions of leaving these gem-friends of my life and move ahead with life towards new people. Let's see what God has decided for me. Stay Updated with this through my blog. :-) 


          Thanks. And, I want to know your priority- Life or People. Am I the only person who runs for life and not for people or there are many who are "so-called selfish" but they aren't? :-)


 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU