Aa Dekhein Zara.. Kismein Kitna Hai Dum !!!

            549th BLOG POST -->>

       One day(5 years ago), I wanted to do something which was too important for my life (I can't disclose it here). I was almost prepared for it. I had a full confidence on myself that I will do it with an ease and smoothness. I was not very open with my parents then but I had a source of motivation. And you know who *she* may be. I thought, let's call her before approaching to accomplish this most wanted task of my life (according to the situations then). I called her but she wasn't picking it up. I kept recalling her and in response I only got an automated voice "The person you are trying to call is busy". I was too broken. Still I went to accomplish the work but I ended up screwing everything. I came back home and went to my bedroom with a very bad mood. I blamed myself for the failure. But, when I cooled down after some hours and I realized what influenced my positive approach towards my potential, I realized that just because she didn't picked up my call, I got screwed in this task. And I understood how someone can affect my life. 


          I am too emotional and thus it resulted in an outburst when she called me later on to confirm about my position- whether I lost or I won, by luck. I screamed at her and in the combat of words, I asked her to fuck off. And she was too egoistic to bear those two words from my sweet mouth and she broke the relationship. In short, she really fucked off. :-) Later, when I realized that I reacted too harsh and rude, I asked for an apology to her but her ego won again over our relationship. I lost my patience and I started dealing with my life too carelessly. I stopped eating, enjoying and moving ahead in life. Then one day, I went to Muktidham temple which was just 1 kilometer from my house. I went and sat there. I kept listening to bhajans and watching different people praying to God in some or the other way. After some time, a young pandit(he would be of some 25-27 years old then) came to me and sat besides me after giving me prasad. He started asking me about my studies, where I live, what does my parents do and almost everything. 


          After asking everything about me, he asked me to ask him any question which is making me isolate myself from my soul. I told him whatever happened to me without keeping any secret about the situation up to myself. He smiled and said,"See Abhilash, life is being given to you by the almighty-God. He never asked you to trust everyone. Neither did he said that everyone you meet is meant for you. It is you, your soul, your inner self who gets attracted towards people and you start believing some of them. Life is not about living alone either. Be with people but keep yourself intact about what you are. Never let anyone else dominate or influence you. Keep the confidence in yourself at its zenith. You should make your life and your body too stringent and stubborn that even if someone tries to break your confidence, you don't get moved by it. So, stop letting your life be affected by some people whom you found attractive. Show them that you are as good as you were even when they have left you to survive in a hell. The only people who can hurt you are the ones whom you allow to". After that, I thanked him and panditji went. 


          I came out of the temple and went to the restaurant. I ordered lots of food. All of them were my favorite dishes. Incidentally, I had money that day. :-) I was eating all those dishes to prove myself that I am not being affected by the person whom I tried to make a part of my life. After that, I went to an accessories shop and bought lots of accessories for me and I did almost all the things I liked. The words of Panditji kept echoing in my ears. "Don't let your life be affected by the people you find attractive in your life". How effective is the sentence. And that was the last day when I let anyone affect my life. 


            Now, I am not concerned about anyone else's life. I am too busy in my life and my goals. Neither do I give a damn to other's work and neither do I allow them to roam near the place where I work. I have become quite materialistic in this part of my life. Today, if someone will call me a thief in front of all the respected people, it will not affect me. If someone will call me a Gay in front of all the cool college students, it will not affect me. If someone will call me Dumb and Dull in an interview, it will not affect me. I have stopped allowing people to play with my life. Now, I hear whatever they speak about me and if I find it useless for the progress of my life, I ignore it. And this has resulted in a drastic positive change in my personality. Now I feel so confident about myself. Now, when I go for presenting a topic in class, I don't hesitate after listening to some comments about me. Now I don't feel ashamed when someone says that I blog for fame. Now I don't cry when someone abuses me for something I never did. Now, I am quite like punching-bag, keep hitting me but I will be as I was before. Your fist will start paining but my will of getting punched will still remain as excited as it was before. :-)


          So, my dear friends, stop getting affected by the people around you who are trying to pull you back, directly or indirectly. People can change your life only when you'll allow them to. If you will keep a control over yourself, no one can bring a change in yourself. So, be confident about yourself and ask all such people who try to pull you back to FUCK OFF !!!


          Thanks.


 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU