Expectation Meter- 5..4..3..2..1..0- Congratulations For Entering The New World !

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       In last two days, I was feeling very demotivated and low. My father's sister and her husband came to my home to stay for a day. They have a very good sense of humor with bright personality. Obviously, a God's gift. No one can develop this. You can develop a skill, you can develop a perfection in doing something but you can't develop a sense of humor in you. My father was having a good time because her sister is just 1 year elder to him and hence being of the same age group, they have many good memories of their childhood to recall and laugh at it. But, for all the time till they were with me, I was sad about something. My relation with my cousins are not hearty. I don't talk to my elder cousin. I talk occasionally with my younger cousins. I don't have good bonding with my uncles and aunts too. So, for me, my surname "RUHELA" is not about relation with relatives. It just makes me remember my Father and my Mother. Just because they are the only two RUHELAs with whom I have a concern and a godly bonding. Else, I don't have anything to do with any of my relatives. But my father's sister who came to my house two days back is almost like a friend to me so I don't consider her as as a relative (so after being low for sometime, I started thinking positively).


          The reason behind this brittle relation of mine with my relatives is the amount of expectations I had from them. I expected them to call on my every goods and shortcomings. They never called. I wanted them to take a good care of me when I was in depression and sickness for a long period of time. But I never got the treatment which I expected from them. That was the time when I was under depression so anything which was too small seemed very big to me. A little avoidance of someone seemed as a reason to break the relationship to me. I ended all my relationship with my relatives in 2009 and any telephonic chat which I had with them after 2009 has been either occasional or a formality. So, whenever my parents talk about my relatives with their friends, I feel it annoying and I start getting frustrated. It is a kind of allergy to me. The reason of this insecurity on the name of relatives is the Expectations I had with them. I never felt that those expectations have ever been tried to be fulfilled from their side and thus the hatred for relatives kept augmenting day by day.


             But as soon as I came out of the state of depression and melancholy, I started seeing my last 3 years. I realized how sensitive I was. I realized how foolish I was that I wanted to be a cynosure but no one treated me like it. I observed many drawbacks in my personality. Then I started thinking about its cure. I read many motivational books. In a go, I completed reading Robin Sharma's 10 books in 2 months. I read many more books to treat myself. I wanted to be happy from my inner-self than keeping a fake smile on my face. After reading all the books and after listing down all the good things I learnt, I started marking those points about which I never thought in my life. And after the whole R & D Process, I found a cure for my problem- "Confine your Expectation Level". That was the last day when I expected something from anyone- Either Parents, friends, relatives, collegians, neighbors and even God. And I don't remember that I had an argument or a severe fight with anyone after that. 


           Today, when I am sick and I am at my home for 2 weeks, I don't expect any of my college-mate to call and ask for my health. Today, when my friends plan for a picnic or an outing, I don't expect my parents to give me a positive nod for it. Today, when I fall while walking, I don't expect a Mumbaikar to come and pick me up. Today, when I celebrate my birthday, I don't expect my best friend to call me up and wish me. Today, when my mother is not at home for a week, I don't expect my neighbor to knock my door and ask me for any help. Today, when I feel lonely, I don't expect someone to read my eyes and show a concern to me. I have ceased expecting from people around me. I have started accepting everything as a bonus to me. Now, I don't feel lonely anymore. I don't feel frustrated anymore. I don't die of jealousy by seeing people around me having better relations than me. I have stopped arguing with my friends. I have started smiling for small reasons. :-)


           The best consequence I have got after dropping my expectation level is that- Now I feel happy and blithe even when I get a small treatment from someone. Now, every call I receive on my birthday is a pleasure to me. Rather than thinking about those who didn't, I have started thinking about those who did. I have started cherishing those moments when my friends share their love and concern with me. I remember only these moments. Now, whatever I get from my parents is a gift to me and I keep it safely as its the most precious thing I have ever got on this planet. :-) I have started living my life joyously without any ills and issues regarding anyone in my heart and brain. I have seen that expecting only frustrates, annoys and depresses you. And when you overcome this nature of yours, you get introduced to a very different life. A completely different world welcomes you. And I am telling you, this world is so productive and so motivating that you will never wish to leave this world again.


           I am living in this world and I am inviting you all. Let's come into this world with no expectation and only celebration for whatever you get. :-) (An example: Stop expecting Sachin to score his 100th. Remember all the 99 Centuries and cherish those moments. :-) Stop expecting Sehwag to score a good knock in his next match as he scored a Double Ton in the last match :-))


          Thanks.


   ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU