Dad, I Love Her. Are You Supporting Me?

            474th BLOG -->>

        So, I started loving this girl. I never knew that I will fall in love all over again even after my last love left me when I needed her the most in my life. Love can come in any form and in any shape. :-) Yes, you have meant right when you thought about the shape I am talking about. It was my first semester's first month and I already fell in love with this girl of my class. I was in doubt whether I should start an affair with her because the next 3 years we will have to stay together even if we will break up if our relationship fails. And above all, she was Muslim. Yes, Muslim. The way Hindu and Muslim see each other is very aggressive and hence loving a Muslim girl and then facing your Hindu community is like making Ajmal Kasab travel in Mumbai Local train. Just imagine what will happen with him. So, it was not a good thought of getting beaten by hockey sticks and all sorts of weapon if her Muslim brothers came to know about my proposal to her. I didn't had any problem in turning a Muslim girl into my wife but the approval of parent was desperately needed. Because, it is parent who hear all the taunts and sarcastic comments if you do a silly mistake or take a wrong decision in your life and for your life.


              I thought a lot about it and I talked with many friends but everyone asked me to stay away from the Muslim girl because it can be dangerous as I was new in Mumbai and her brothers would have hit me like Gayle plays in T20. At last, I gave a super thought and decided that I will talk with my father about this. Ohh Yes, I finally thought something which needed guts to do. It is not easy to talk with your dad about your liking for a girl when you failed 11th twice and passed 12th after slogging like a callgirl who gets fucked for the whole day for her monthly expenses. But still, I thought that if he will say Yes, everything would be fine but even if it is No, I'll try that girl and if something happens, I will say him that its you who didn't gave me a way to approach her and hence being in love, I had no idea how to approach her and expose the feeling of my bloody romantic heart. But, I almost got engaged with her when I finally talked to my father about her.


             We sat in my bedroom to talk about Internet plans and how I'll change my future with the course I have joined. Being a new admission in a Graduation college, it was obvious that a typical Indian father will question you as much as possible about your future as much as you feel frustrated about it. After talking about my course, college, teachers, new friends and whatever happened in past, I finally said,"Dad, I want to talk something very important with you." Dad said,"Speak up". 


     I started,"But please make sure that you are not going to talk anything regarding this to mummy".
     Dad said immediately,"I will never open my mouth. And you already know that your mother doesn't let me speak anything which she don't want to hear." We laughed.
     I said with a romantic expression on my face,"Dad, I am in love with a girl of my class".
     Dad said,"At last you have entered the path which I always tell you to ignore. hmm?"
     I had no words. I just kept seeing him and I said again,"I don't know dad but I am too serious about her".
     Dad: Still, one month of college has not yet passed and you are saying that you are serious about her. Are you dumb?"
     I said,"Leave that. Let me tell you who she is. Her name is Umera and.. "
     He stopped me in between and exclaimed,"Muslim?"
     I, with a sense of something bad coming up said,"Yes, Muslim but for me a very beautiful and talented girl".
     Dad: Yes, of course, she is talented. She has the talent of attracting boys towards her."
     I: Come on dad. Every girl is not same.
     Dad: But most of them are.
     I: Haven't you loved any in your college days."
     Dad: Whatever but I never thought of getting committed with someone. I was not characterless like you.
     I: Loving a girl makes someone characterless? How can you be so narrow-minded, papa?
     Dad: This you will understand when your son/daughter will confess about their love to you.
     I: I will go to their partner's parent and ask them to marry their child to my child.
     Dad: So you want me to go and beg that Muslim girl's parent to give their superbly talented daughter to my flirty boy who has done nothing better in life rather than flirting with different girls?
     I: Is this your final decision?
     Dad:What decision?
     I: That you are not going to support me in my journey of love.
     Dad: Give me your mobile.
     I: Why?
     Dad: Do what I said.
     I: Ok.
     I moved from my place to bring mobile and handover to him. I was shivering as he wasn't supporting me and he asked for mobile which had many secrets of whatever happened between both of us. Dad took mobile in his hands and started checking all the messages. Thank God he didn't asked me to read any one of them.
     
      Finally, he said,"So you both are going to kiss each other after Ramzaan will end?"
      I started smiling. 
      He started,"Now, when you have almost started everything with her, I just want to request you to take 3 spoons of Bournvita with your milk rather than 2 because your bones should be strong to bear those thrashes by the brothers of your girl."
      I was angry now. 
      I said,"Dad, I am telling you that I love her seriously. (I opened the laptop and showed him her photos) Now, what do you say?" 
      My father's eyes started twinkling. Finally, he moved his eyes from the laptop screen and said,"Girl looks awesome. And I think that God has done justice to you. You have got what you deserve. But, remember that life is beyond this girl. Kissing her, holding her hand, sleeping with her will make you nothing in life. Proving yourself to her parent will bring more effect than kissing her after Ramzaan. understood?"


      I felt quite embarrassed. He asked me to look into his eyes. I saw and said,"Kiss is just an expression of love and nothing else papa." 
      Dad replied,"You love me?"
      I said,"Yes. Of course. This is why I am sharing this with you."
      Dad asked,"Then remember the last time you kissed me."
      I said with fucking face,"Dad, kissing you is different and kissing her is different."
      Dad replied,"Oh Yes. You are right. Kissing her will make your body become harder and touching girl always makes you energetic. But what's the advantage of kissing an old dad and expressing love and affection. Right?
      I: Now you are emotionally blackmailing me. Ok?
      Dad,"I have no problem with your relation with her but remember, if you will be beaten by her community, don't come to me and ask to lodge a complain against them. 2nd, I will never go to ask her parent for marriage, they should come to us to ask for you. Third, never ever go beyond touching her hands or whatever or kissing. I don't want to walk on road with a tag on my forehead that I am rapist's father."
      I: How come will you be called rapist's father? Am I a rapist? Did I say that I am physically attracted towards her?"
     Dad: I said that if you will go beyond all those things. Once, she will get pregnant, her parents can file a complain that you raped her. You don't know the cruel world. 
     I: Fine, I am not going to do anything with her. I will sit at a distance of 1 feet from her. I promise.
     Dad: That I know. You will be 1 feet inside her rather than being away from her.
     Both of us giggled. 
     I: Papa, I desperately want her with me. She is a super-girl. She is the best. She has scored 89% in her 12th std and she almost answers every question in class. She is very fast in learning things. She is the most beautiful girl of my class and I think, of college too. I am lucky that she came to me and asked for my phone number and all and I got committed. And if talking about her community, I don't have any problem in her belief in Allah. I will not convert myself into Islam, I promise that and I'll never force her to bow in front of the idols in our temples. When I am not following her God, I'll not even ask her to follow my culture."
       Dad: Is ko hi bolte hain Paagalpann. But don't worry. Live safely and I am there to give allowance to the marriage. And please be in control after Ramzaan as I have read that she is ready to be kissed by you after Ramzaan.
      
        I started looking at the tiles of my bedroom rather than looking my dad with the same confidence. And then, my father patted my back and said "Best of Luck" and left the room. After that I kissed her one day and I told my father the very next day that I did it in Ramzaan rather than waiting for Ramzaan to end and I am still promising that I'll not go beyond this. He smiled and said,"This is what she wanted to do. She judged you by the kiss and now, she will leave you very soon". I didn't gave a damn about this what dad said. After few days, she left me and I was all alone. I was crying in my bedroom. My father entered and asked me the reason. I told him about the break-up and he said,"Beta, this was my only fear. I didn't wanted to see 2 things to happen. First, to see tears in your eyes because of a girl and second, seeing your baby in the girl's womb before marriage. I am seeing the first thing happening in front of me. I hope the second one is not going to happen." I replied,"No dad, I didn't did anything with her. We always sat in public places, for your kind information." Dad replied,"Cool. Now, forget her. And remember, doing masti while being in relationship is good but loving a girl by being in a relation is very dangerous. Love a girl in your heart rather than getting committed to her and then loving her. I liked 2 girls in my life but I never opined my feelings and I am proud of it today. At least, I can be fearless while taking your mom outside for hang-outs, shopping and dinners. I don't have fear that I can bang into my college day's muse." 


           These words of father affected me a lot. After this, I decided that I'll never get committed to a girl until I'll find an appropriate one for myself. Now, I love the girl of my life in my heart. I never share the name of the girl with anyone and I have decided that I'll never open my heart to her too. I will love her in my heart for the whole life like a true and pure lover rather than kissing her and explaining it as an expression of love. Now, I realize how important it is to share everything with parents. It is not always that parents agree but they keep an eye on you and they bring you out of trouble even when they warned you before not to enter that path. Even my dad unsupported me in the beginning but later he was ready to do anything for me and her if I'll stay true to myself and him. Just because my father knew all that happened between me and her, he made me come out of the depression of that break-up within 1 week of it. So friends, please share everything with your parents- anyone of them(Mom or Dad) with whom you are comfortable. I was comfortable to talk with my dad about this thing and hence I did it. At last, he supported me. :-) 


            Today, I am single as I promised myself. And the day I'll think of proposing another girl and get seriously committed to her, I'll first go and ask my father what to do next. :-)


           Thanks.


ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU