Tera Tha Hi Kya Jo Kho Gaya !!!

           464th BLOG -->>

       It was my parent's anniversary. I was too excited about it. I was happy that my parent lived for 25 years together without any obstacle. They were happy with each other and my father loved my mother a lot. She just opined her choice and demand and we found it in the house. My mother was very lucky to get a husband like him. I saw my friends parents and I noticed that none of them were in love as my parent were. My parent were almost in love like those teenagers who get committed to each other in Junior college after loving since school times. I often asked them what made them so intrigued into each other and they would say that life had showed them what are the consequences of hatred so they love to love each other rather than pointing out each others mistakes and error. This made me quite positive in life and I stopped being pessimist and I loved everything in life. 

            I was always little sad with my life because I wasn't lucky like my parent to have an appropriate partner with me. Sanjana left me when I needed her most. This broke me off and since then I never looked life as an exciting adventure. For me it remained to be a journey where I'll have to hide my sorrow to maintain that smile on my parent's face. After she left me, parent were the most important entity for me in my life. I just wanted to make them happy but still I had glitches with life in heart. I didn't had special friends but yes I did have those who were interested in letting their work done with my help and same was the condition with me. I always believe that Friends are those beings who comes in your life to judge something new in their life and if they remain to be with you for a long time then its because they have seen some advantage in being with you. It can be either of money or it can be your parent's power in society or it can be your beautiful girlfriend or you have a great sense of humour and being with you passes their time wonderfully or something your brain can't even think till there. So, in short, my life was fake. I was tryin to be happy even when I had many doubts about my life and the people around me in my heart. 

             On this anniversary of my parent, I decorated their room as it was their first night after marriage. I wanted them to experience a honeymoon kind of moment as I came to know that they never went for honeymoon because their marriage was held in very tensional condition. They never told me about this. In last 21 years, they spent their life in making themselves happy by seeing me. My father was nice to me too. I had everything I needed and wanted in my life. There's a big difference between what you "need" and what you "want" in life. But my father decreased the expansion in the meanings of both the words and made everything available to me very easily. Lilly was my younger sister and my parent loved her a lot. Even I loved her very much. She was almost the cynosure in our house. Wherever she went, we followed her. We had a perfect life, perfect family space and perfect love. But this anniversary had something else planned for me.

             After the whole celebration took place and Lilly went to sleep as she had test tomorrow, I started cleaning the house as we had many family-friends for the dinner. The whole house was unrecognizable. I was arranging the sofa-covers when my father called me up.I went into their decorated room after knocking the door to make them feel shy. But to my surprise, both of them had serious expression on their face. I went and sat on the bed. My mother began,"Beta, it has been 25 years of our marriage and we have decided to tell you a truth. Are you ready to hear it?" I was surprised and shocked at the same moment. What kind of truth is it which they want to reveal at this moment. I said,"I am not getting anything mummy." She said,"There's something related to all of us and it may break you. But you please promise that you are not going to take it too seriously. We just want to tell you because we don't want you to hear it from a third person." Shiveringly, I replied,"Ok Mom. I'll not promise but I'm giving you an assurance that I'll take it positively." She turned towards my father and he said,"I AM NOT YOUR REAL FATHER." 
        I exclaimed,"What?"
        Mom said,"Yes beta, Anand is not your dad."

              I was shocked. How is it possible that my father is not my father? If he is not then who is? But if he is really not my father than how can he be the best father of the world? If he is not my father then how come he never showed any kind of partiality towards me and Lilly? And if he is not my father than what is he doing with my mother from last 25 years? I kept all these questions in front of my parents. 

               My mother began,"When I was in college, I got committed to Rajeev. He was a minister's son. We were in relation for 3 years and one day we crossed all the limits of love. After few months when I started feeling suspicious of myself, I went to clinic and got my check-up done. To my shock, I was pregnant. I felt bad for a moment but then I felt happy about being mother of Rajeev's child. I ran to Rajeev's house and told him about the good news. He asked me to abort the baby. I refused. He started thrashing me. I asked him to marry me and let the child take birth in this world but he was in no mood of marrying me and having any baby with me. He was passing time with me and I never realized it in 3 years. Anand was his assistant and he witnessed the whole episode as he always remained with him. After I left, Anand came to my house and asked for my hand. My parent agreed and we married. Then you came into our world and our world became better. Today, we are happy to see our family being perfect and happy." 

              I was numb. I had nothing to speak. I didn't say anything to my parents, came out of their room, banged their door again and went on terrace. Whenever I felt isolated from the world, I used to sit on terrace and see the world from the 20th floor of our building. That day I realized what life is. Rajeev- my real father is the chief of the local party of my area which is known for violence and destruction. He is being talked of having sex with many ladies for fun and then paid them money so that they will come back to him. This devil was my real father. Today, I felt sad for myself. I am the son of a lady who had sex before marriage. That is I am a Bastard. Then, I am the son of a man who wanted to kill me before birth. I am being nourished by a man who is not my father and hence I have a big loan to repay him back. How can he grow me up when he has his own daughter to love and develop. I have a sister who is the diamond of my eyes but now I know that she is my stepsister who will come to know about it when she will grow up. I had no one in my life whom I can call my own. 

              God betrayed me. God played with my innocence. Even Sanjana left me. I had no friends. Just then I realized that I was to be aborted before I was born. So that means whatever life I have lived till now is a favor to me by God. Suddenly, I started feeling nice. I started feeling free. A child who was destined for not living a single second of his life had already lived 25 years of his life. I have many more years to live. Why should I pass them in depression, isolation and melancholy? Why shouldn't I live my favored life with joy and fun? This is when I found myself for the first time. I came back to my room and slept peacefully that night. Next day I left my house with a letter to my parent and asked them that I'll return after doing all I wanted to in this birth. 

             Ten years have passed and I have accepted an award from President of being the biggest adventurer of our country. I did whatever I wanted to. I climbed Mount Everest. I researched on Himalaya. I visited all the holy places of our country. I visited all the states and all the monuments. I even went deep into Indian ocean and learned about aquatic life. These are just 5% of what I did in these 10 years. Now, I have no regret of being planned to be killed before birth. I am the happiest person on the earth and I feel bad about why my parent didn't told me about this few years later. I would have done all this before. Today I am returning home with no pain and angst towards my parent. :-)

P.S.: This Fiction is for all the children who get to know about their real father(or mother) after a long time. It is rare but it is big for those who are going through this story. So be strong after listening to this cruel fact and change your life pragmatically after this rather than going into depression and blaming everything around you. Best of luck for your life ahead.

            Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU