Muskurane ke KARZ chukaane honge !!!

              458th BLOG -->>

         Tonight, I was talking with my dad. We were discussing about all what happened with me in last one week. Then mummy joined us. After a while, we started talking about books and its obvious that the topic turned towards my writings. My dad said to mom that I am telling you today itself when this boy has not started writing that his book is going to be a plethora of tragedies and I am just worried about that. I asked Dad that even if it would be full of tragedies, what's the problem? Why are you worried about it? Dad said,"I don't know why I don't like you talking about tragedies and sadness. You have already passed the worst moment anyone can and I don't want you to indulge back in it. I love to see you happy and I hope all your readers love the same. So try to be happy and write cheerful posts and even your book should be a wonderful funny story rather than being something which will make people cry." I was shocked. It is seriously true that your parent know you the best. No one in my friend circle or anywhere can predict that there's lots of tragedies which still haunts me but my father knows this. This was a serious shocker for me.

                I am happy with my life today but somewhere in my heart I am lonely even today. I am very pragmatic but still sometimes my loneliness overcomes the power of my pragmatism and motivation. It is just my positivism, veracity and motivation which pushed me to be a happy and ambitious person in life else my life was the victim of seduction of pain. Every time PAIN came to my LIFE with a LUST to F*CK it and my dear LIFE lied in front of it and got F*CKED. But today, pain never touches my life because it knows that it will break and there would be no effect on my heart and soul. It knows that this boy has turned into a man and can deal with all kinds of problems. In my P.S. of 456th BLOG POST- I wrote that the whole incident happened with me in a party and everyone started asking and requesting me to write that real story as a fiction and let them know about it. All those moments of life was a part when my life was struggling to live and I was motivating my life to live because if it would have died, I would have murdered all my close ones and dear ones. Yes, I would have because when a person is in depression, the one whom he hate the most is the most closest person to him/her.

               Last week, my friends insisted me to visit Lalbagh with them for worshiping Lord Ganesh's grand idol. I directly refused them without giving them a hope that I am coming with them. This is the part of the tragedy I have been into. I have cried a lot in front of Ganesha's temple once in my life for fulfilling something I needed badly but I never got it. From that day, I started hating Lord Ganesha and I stopped worshiping him by heart. If I would have gone to Lalbagh, all those days when I cried for that reason in front of Lord Ganesh's idol would have haunted me again and my heart would have sunk into depression again. Now, I don't want my heart to be sad or depressed. I want it to be cheerful. This Tuesday I am going to a Panel discussion where my idol- Chetan Bhagat would be one of the Panel members. I am going there to make my heart laugh as it will keep thinking about that meet with Chetan Bhagat for a long long time. 

            Log sochte hain ki hassne waalon ko koi gham nahi hota.. 

            Kaash aisa bhi koi Gangajal hota jisse main apne gham dhota..

            Wo samay aaj bhi utna hi taaza hai-nahi to main ab bhi kyun rota..

            Aur agar koi gham na hota to main bhi har roz tumhari tarah chain se sota..

            Sub khwahishon ke path pe chalta to main apna wajood aise na khota..

            Agar dil sambhaalna aata to tumhari tarah main bhi achche beej bota..

            Aaj bhi darrta hun khul ke muskurane se..

            Aaj bhi darrta hun khud ko zamane ko dikhaane se..

            Aaj bhi darr lagta hai un palon ko dil se lagaane mein..

            Aaj bhi bharosa nahi hota is zaaleem zamaane pe..

            Ek din main chamkunga.. is zindagi ke andhere kinaaro me..

            Main bhi dikhunga- Us chamatke chand aur timtimatey sitaaron me..

            Ek din jhoka bann k guzrunga- in aati-jaati bahaaron mein..

           


             Na jaane kyun aaj papa ke us ek wakya ne mujhe isthir kar diya. Abhi akela apne kamre mein baitha yahi soch raha hun ki kya main sachch mein khush hun? Ek hi jawaab aata hai dil se - Ki main har pal khud ko khush rehne k liye samjhata hun nahi to is dil ki tamanna hai k wo roye aur rota hi jaaye. Kitni adhuri kahaniyaan hain zindagi ki jo kabhi poori nahi ho sakti. Kitne zakhm hai dil ke jo kabhi sookh nahi sakte. Par fir bhi ye zindagi roki bhi to nahi ja sakti. Jab ek anjaan aadmi aake kehta hai ki aap bahut atcha likhte ho, mujhe khushi milti hain kyunki likhne se mere zindagi mein khushi hain aur jab mujhe ye maalum hota hai ki kisi ko mere sazaaye hue aksharon se khushi mil rahi hain to isse badi khushi mere liye kuch nahi hoti hai. Isliye main hamesa apne khwabon ko kabhi kalpnik kahaniyon ke maadhyam se kabhi apni hi jubani mein aap logon tak pahonchata rahunga aur umeed hai ki aap logon ka snehh aur pyaar hamesa mere saath bana rahega. Ek din jaroor aayega jab meri antar-aatma sachch mein khush hogi aur mujhe khud ko jabardasti khushi ke liye dhakelna nahi padega. Is hi ke saath raat teen baje aap logon se alvida chahta hun. Aap sabhi ko mera pyaar aur meri duaayein. Hamesa dil se muskuraiye.


                Dhanyawaad.


Aapka, 


  ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU