When I Tried To Turn Friendship Into LOVE !!!

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        I met her for the first time when I was in junior college. I was sitting in the college garden with no one around me. Everyone in the college had a girlfriend to roam with or they had a very good company to hang around. I had no one with me. I was new to this place and I was searching for someone as it was the time when life was pinching me and telling me that I don't deserve to be anyone's friend and I don't deserve to be the part of anyone's company. How much I tried to get into some new friends, I always got an ignorance from their side. No one accepted me. The life was diverting towards the state of melancholy and schmaltz. I was disagreeing to the fact that I have turned so boring after my school life that I am unable to make a single new friend. 

             While sitting in the garden, I was plucking the flowers from the bush aside and was busy pricking the petals and thinking about my loneliness and why don't I have a single friend with whom I can share everything I have in my heart to speak out. Suddenly, I saw a girl coming in the garden. She was all alone. I was scared to see her coming towards me. I never saw her before this day and I was scared that if she will ask me about anything I may be unable to speak as a very long period has passed since I had conversation with any person of my age group. I always got some 50+ friends of my father who came and tried to motivate me for my future studies as I passed 10th after 3 years. Yes, those 3 years made me lose all the confidence I had in me. All the childhood friends left me because I was making my life terrible and horrible day by day. The profuse entertainment in my life was making everyone go away from me. So, I was bit petrified and therefore seeing the people of my age group dithered me as I lost the confidence of talking to them. 

           Suddenly, she was standing in front of me and asked,"Veeru, right?" I was shocked and ineffable after listening my name from her. Only thought which annihilated my brain was that how did she knew my name. I replied,"Yes". I couldn't speak anything after that. She said,"Pehchana nahi?" I was trying to roll out all the nonentity valued people of my life whom I can forget easily and hoped that I may remember who she is. At last, I responded pragmatically,"Hey, you are the one who helped my sister." She:"Yes, you got it. I am Suhana, the girl who supported your sister when the hostel turned into ashes after that cylinder blast incident." Now, I was sure who this girl was. My sister is 1 year younger to me but as I took 3 years for qualifying board exams, she is in 12th std now. From last 1 year she was living in a hostel which sabotaged because of a cylinder blast incident. My sister saw it with her naked eyes and after that she got so much terrified that she fainted then and there. This girl- Suhana saw her lying on the road and rushed my sister to her house and asked her to live there itself. My parent asked Suhana's parent to pay the rent of every month but they refused saying that Suhana is a single child and even she would get a company. 

             I and Suhana started talking. I felt quite comfortable talking to her because my sister lived with her and almost everytime I dialed Suhana's landline number, she picked it up and I took the where-about of my sister through her and dismissed the call. So, she was quite familiar to me and hence I opened the lock of my sealed heart and started speaking out all my problems to her one by one. Suhana was almost in tears after listening to everything I went through. She wasn't ostentatious and this helped me to open up more. She was astonished that I never shared all this with my sister and how could I live with such pain from so many months without sharing it with anyone. We ended up sharing our phone numbers and she said that I'll call you. She told me that she is shifted here and she is in the same college. She was in 12th and bloody me, 11th. 

             Now, Suhana started calling me every night and we used to talk for 3 hours. She used to ask me various things like my childhood friends, best moment, favorite movie, my dreams, my passion, my likings etc etc etc. She was very talkative and the best example of proving my statement is that she talked to me incessantly for 1 hour in college during break. After that, she used to call me at 10.30 PM after dinner and I used to tell her at 2.30 AM or 3 that we should sleep now otherwise attending lectures can turn into enfilades tomorrow. I started liking her. It is so obvious that an Indian boy who had no friend from last 3 years suddenly got a girl who gave her shoulder to cry and a support to survive will definitely fall in love with her. It was almost 8 months of our friendship and I started liking her after 3 months itself. I didn't knew whether I should tell her my feelings or I should keep it locked in my heart because my sister was still living with her parent and it may result in her expulsion from that house and I would be unable to forgive myself after that. 

             Finally, one day, I decided that I'll open up my heart to her. I had no friend and she turned out to be the Best Friend to me. This girl never roamed with the girls of her class. In spite of that, she came and met me after every lecture ended. She used to talk to me while walking until I used to tell her that your bus came and you can rush now. After reaching home, she would start messaging me and after the dinner she talked to me on phone for more than 4 hours everyday. I was quite sure that a girl who devoted all her time to me would be surely in love with me like I am.

             It was 10.30 PM and I started waiting for her call. At 10.40 PM, my cell ringed and it was Suhana. Quite late. Those 10 minutes were as long as those 3 years. After talking to her for 30 minutes, I said,"Suhana, I want to tell you something and I won't take much time otherwise I'll skip it again and it would be impossible for me to say it anytime in future." She replied,"My God, what happened to you? Ok. Say. I am waiting. Do it fast. I am scared." I replied,"Why?" She said,"I never saw you in such a hurry." I said,"But do promise me that you'll not take me as a bad human being after that." She said,"No. I'll not." I started, yes I was stammering but still sounded like KKHH's Shahrukh,"Suhana, my life was quite boring until you touched it with your pleasant personality and sweet nature. I don't know from when and how but I have started liking you. I didn't wanted to waste more time and as your 12th exams are about to come and I don't know whether I'll meet you after that or not so I wanted to say it as soon as possible. I love you and I see a great partner in you. Will you love to be the most important part of my life?" 

               There was a huge silence for almost 20 seconds. I deciphered the fact that the things didn't worked out as I thought it would and I spoke with lots of guts,"Suhana, I am waiting to hear you. Will you please say something?" Again a silence of another 10 seconds. I opened my bloody mouth again,"Suhana, you talk so much. Please say something right now." At last, she said,"Veeru, I tried to be a very good friend with you. The day I came to know how alone you were, I tried to give all sorts of company to you. I always thought that you needed a friend and I tried to fill that blank. I didn't knew that you were thinking about having romance with me from all these days. I never knew that you will show the same dirtiness which I get to see in every boy now-a-days. You are no different. And, let me tell you that you have broke me so badly that I'll never trust a boy again. This is the last time I am talking to anyone. And don't worry, your sister will still remain a friend. And never try to call me again." She cut the call. 

             I sensed a lump in her throat while speaking all this. She was really shocked and she didn't wanted me to do this to her. I tried to call her back but she never picked it up again. After 2 days, she changed her number. She already had Preparation Leave for board exams so I never saw her again. I never tried to go to her house because I didn't wanted any problem to touch my sister who was already struggling with depression after that incident. I never knew that my void life will experience a girl as the best friend. I didn't even knew that the same girl will be the one I'll start loving. On this Friendship Day, I remembered no one except her. I lost my best friend that day and from then I am back to the same life. No friends. Lonely life. Crying Eyes. Failed Academic career. And I'm attempting my 12th for the 2nd time this year. I hope she will come back once again to give a push to my life. I miss you, Suhana. A very Happy Friendship Day to you. ;-) :-(

 P.S.: It has nothing to do with my real life story but yes it has been inspired from a part of my life. Neither did I wasted 3 years in 10th nor am I giving 12th right now. I have just collaborated two different stories together to create this one. Happy Friendship Day to the girl whom I had as the best friend in my life. :-(   

        ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU