Waiting For Some More !!!

            368th BLOG -->>

        So finally one week of Semester 4 is over. All the new teachers and new subjects are introduced. We got a new classroom with new benches. Classmates are still the same ;-) but I am happy with the old ones as even now, after 1.5 years, I haven't adjusted with 3 to 4 of them. I haven't bunked a single lecture till now but still I have an Absent mark in one lecture as I was drinking tea in the canteen with my friends and when I came back for the lecture I was late by 2 minutes. The new teacher is very strict and she boycotted us from the class. So I missed the attendance but we didn't missed the opportunity to ruin the atmosphere of the class. We kept standing at the door and disturbed the class. We enjoyed doing this. The first week was a kind of formality as we met our friends after a long time so we weren't feeling comfortable and free with each other but from last two days, we came back in our form. 

             The new subjects which I am going to study in Semester 4 are Marketing Management, Business Information System and Oracle, Visual Programming, Computer Oriented Statistical Methods, Digital Computer Network and Software Engineering. We have two practical subjects also. I am looking forward to Marketing Management as I love to learn about peoples and how to grow relation with them and how can we develop a good communication with different kinds of people. I am also looking for Software Engineering as many hidden knowledge about computers will be revealed in an easy language. Else, every other subject is a torture for me which I will study only because I am in computer field and I should know little bit about them. I never knew that the subjects would reflect computers in this way. I thought that they will teach us the basics which will be memorized only by 1 to 2 times read but No.. this field is so so deep and logical. If you leave a concept behind, the forthcoming concepts echoes to be very difficult and out of world. 

              Teachers are fine. My favorites till now are Jyoti madam who is teaching Software Engineering and Mugdha madam who is teaching Marketing Management. The best part of college is outing with friends. My outings are not about far distances from the college but it means a hang-out with friends at Inorbit Mall, Vashi. This week I have managed myself to sit in the class but I am sure as the burden and assignments will come in the way I am going to run from the college. College itches when teachers starts with the new complex logic and topics. It is always fun to sit with friends in the luxurious and peaceful environment of Inorbit and talk whatever we always wanted to. We sit and plan our future, discuss our problems and try to resolve each other's problem. There can be no happiness without communication and this is the time when we communicate peacefully with each other. We keep eating and we keep talking. At the end when we realize that it is the time when our college ends, we run towards our respective trains to reach home at the germane time so that we don't have to struggle through the numbers of questions of our parents.

             In short, I am hoping for a good semester ahead. Result of Semester 3 is still pending. It will be out in the next week. Please pray for me. I am just praying that I don't get drop in any subject. Low percentage will do for once but the drop in subject will act as an over-burden and a pressure to the brain. Let's hope for the best. Need your wishes.

            Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU 

Semester 4 Begins !!!

            367th BLOG -->>

       I know you want the answer of my absence and irregularity. The answer is secret and the promise is void. Few days more and I will write regularly. More than you I am missing the blogs. I don't know why but God is keeping me far away from Laptop and Internet. May be he wants me to concentrate on another prospects of life. Whatever. Today I have tried to manage the time and come online. The world seems to be grown up as everything is changed in 2 weeks since I last logged in. Everyone's profile picture is different, everyone's number of friends has augmented, everyone has new status to tell about themselves. Nobody seems to be lazy to keep their Wall or Profile old and traditional. Faster than Fashion, the ideas of modifying the Profiles dwells up in the minds of my friends and Network buddies.

            Yesterday my Winter vacations ended and from today - 17th January, 2011, My Semester 4 of BCA started. 3 Semesters are over and 3 more are left to go. I am still busy in figuring out that how come Half BCA has finished so soon. I don't know the answer but the only request to the God of Time is that please run this time as fast as possible so that I become a Graduate as soon as possible and my parents can think that their son is good for something. Today was the first day and we were introduced with our new subjects and new teachers. The first lecture of every subject seems to be so difficult as you have to hear some new concepts and new words. The teacher tries to act like a stringent teacher which makes the subject more hard to understand. After few days when they mug up all the names of the children and starts interacting with them they become a friend. This friendship turns sour when the teacher gives a huge assignment which doesn't let the students sleep for various nights. Today was the first day and we already got 3 questions to do. Graduation is not that easy as seniors and elder friends used to tell. All are liars. 

             Now as the Semester 4 is on, I think I should be serious now. There should be a respective regimen and I should follow it. I have to concentrate on my health too so that I can study well. There are many more things which are going to come with studies like Fests and many more extra-curriculum activities. I will have to use all my efforts to perform better so that my last year's performance will be forgotten. May be the circumstances may block me from participating in the programmes but I'll try to share my hands in them. Let's see what happens. There will be more assignments and I will try to do them as passionately as I have always done. I hope my spirit and confidence will grow and I'll not break because of useless reasons. I will try to interact with all my classmates rather than talking to only those people with whom I am comfortable with. I will try to be equal to everyone. No one should feel that Abhilash is much closer to some other person than me. 

             I will try to avoid any type of arguments and fights with any one. I have been successful in doing this in Semester 3 and I hope I'll continue this power of patience and maturity. I will try to help any of my classmate who would come to me with their problem. My result of Semester 3 is going to be released in this week or the next one, I don't know what the result will be like but as per my performance, I am sure that it will be not near to good but I am just praying God to build up the strength in me so that I can bear the pain of a bad result and don't break after seeing it. I want my efforts to keep on going in spite of the bad result. Let's see what God has kept for me as a surprise package. Life is interesting only when there are surprises. The obviousness makes the life boring. I am happy that my life is full of surprises and not obviousness. The most happiest part of my life is that I have no siblings so whatever I think and plan, I can execute it easily without any interference.

               I wish that all my classmates pass this exam without any Drops and Hurdles and they perform better than whatever they did till now. I hope anybody who would be having some problem with me will speak on my face and solve it. I am sure that they will do this. Let's see. Semester 4 is going to be a big baggage of surprises. 

             Best of luck to everyone of you for your studies or work, whatever you are doing. I hope this year turns out to be a SUCCESSFUL YEAR for you.

     Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU 

Bigg Boss is the Glamorous Image of our Life !!!

           366th BLOG -->>

       So the last episode of BiGG BoSS Season 4 ends tonight. Bigg Boss is a show which is hated by majority and appreciated by minority of people but still it remains to be one of the Biggest Reality Show in India. I think that 9 out of every 10 people wants to be in the Bigg Boss House including me. This show is something which is not understood by many but still followed. Shweta Tiwari won the Season 4. The previous winners of last 3 seasons are Rahul Roy, Ashutosh Kaushik and Vindoo Dara Singh respectively. Shweta Tiwari is the first female contestant to win the show. I have never understood the criteria by which people vote for their favorites (this statement is senseless if the whole show is fixed which I think it is). The first winner of the Bigg Boss was Rahul Roy. He used to be the quietest contestant without any entertainment and humour. The second season's winner Ashutosh was someone whose language was not understandable by the viewers and he did nothing special in the show. The third season's winner- Vindoo Dara Singh was a bad man in the show after KRK. So the criteria for the selection of winner is hard to judge and understand.

            This season's winner - Shweta Tiwari is the very first contestant whose name will not angst you as she was quite deserving. Amongst all the 4 finalists, Ashmit and Shweta were deserving because they lived in the Bigg Boss house right from the 1st day to 96th day without taking a break. Shweta needs money as she don't have any work currently and her husband doesn't live with her. All the responsibility of nourishing her daughter and educating her is on Shweta. With this 1 Crore prize money, she can easily educate her daughter and live comfortably. I am happy and I think every fan of Bigg Boss is happy. 

            I remember when Amitabh Bachchan presented himself as the host of Bigg Boss in the season 3, he narrated a paragraph defining and summarizing the whole concept of Bigg Boss. It is the real meaning of this show. Bigg Boss shows us the reality of a real human being. The way you interact with the strangers and the way you conduct yourself in front of the whole nation is a big challenge. Just imagine that you are closed in a room with 13 to 15 strangers and you are asked to stay with them for next 3 months. If you are successful in passing these 3 months, you are going to be awarded with 1 crore prize money. In this situation, just try to think how will you interact with such strangers and handle all the situations coming in your way. When you live with your friends and relatives, you keep on fighting and arguing with them. These are the people you know in your life but what if you are locked with 15 strangers? It is very difficult and the most challenging task of your life. And the biggest thing is that you don't have any source of entertainment like television, newspaper, mobile. You don't have enough food to eat. You don't have any contact with the outside world. All you have are these 15 strangers and a fight to prove and put up your point.

             Bigg Boss let you realize that your life and your views are not acceptable by others like you think. I see my classmates. There is a lot of politics in our class. I myself know how hard it is to deal with them. To keep your image intact and be friends with everyone in spite of groupism present everywhere. So I can easily relate with this show as it is a small package of our own life. We get a chance to see ourselves in the contestants and judge how we look in our life when we do the same thing what they do in their life in the same conditions which we face. I am following this show from last 3 seasons and I have learned a lot from it. I know how to present myself when there is a fight and argument in a group or in a class. There are many people who think that this show is senseless but I feel it better than any game show or cricket or football matches. I get to learn something from this show as I do from Kaun Banega Crorepati. I will keep following this show till it is getting the sponsors. 

            For now, I will miss the show. Salman rocked the Season 4 as a host. I liked his conduct with the contestants. I hope he return back as a host in next season too. Let's see. Till then, Good-bye Bigg Boss.

P.S: I want to inform everyone of you that this post was to be published yesterday but due to errors, I am publishing it today.

            Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU     

Being Middle-class is Being Tortured !!!

           365th BLOG -->>

       When you are born in a middle-class family, the only thing which you are taught right from your childhood is to save, adjust and shrink. In the childhood, your parents try to boycott all the roads, galli and kucheys so that you don't demand costly toys. When you grow little more elder, they try to avoid all the shops of cloths as you may demand a costly one which may result in heart-attack to your parents. When the child grows in such environment, he has only one priority in life i.e. to save money and don't be friends to the kids of high-society people as their company may cause bankruptcy to you. You are always given less amount of pocket-money so that you don't spend lavishly and you don't get addicted to something which is hard for your parents to spend. In such conditions, you turn out to be more mature than your parents and you know what adjustments are and what the real money is.

             As you grow up, the only desire you have is to be rich so that you don't face the problems which your parents had to face. This happens generation to generation. Your parents thought the same by seeing the lifestyle of your grandparents and now you adopted the same ideology which your parents adopted and your child will do the same. If your father is manager, you always dream to be bigger than him. If your father is businessman, you always dream to have much turn-over than his company or business did. If your father is a carpenter, you always think of building a showroom of furniture. This ideology comes to show the parents that we are bigger and richer than you. This doesn't develop in any bad and evil propensity but this happens because you want to show the parents that this is one of the way which you could have adopted to make yours and my life better than what it was. You also do it to give your parents what they never experienced or handled. If your father has driven a bike, you try to purchase a Car to give your father the pleasure of sitting in a Car. If your father has spent his whole life in 1 BHK flat, you try to purchase a 2BHK or 3BHK Flat. So, there are two rationale why you want to do better than your parents. 

              This is a general condition of a middle-class family and a middle-class children but the main problem and difficulty arises when a middle-class child thinks something beyond the confinements of the thoughts which are traditionally pre-defined. Every child knows that he has to study well as there is no back-up from parents, then he has to attain a good job and earn well so that he can feed his children without any glitches. But when a child dares to think about being something which is never thought of, there are hundreds of allegations towards him. If a child says that he wants to be an Actor, Director, Model, Fashion Designer, Cricketer, Player, Entrepreneur etc, there are dozens of relatives and family friends who comes to push you back and show you the reality and your status. This effects many children to draw back and live the same kindle life as designed by grandparents and parents. 

              I am facing the same problem. Why? Because I want to be a WRITER. The day I declared this in my house, the confusion and frustration amongst the mind of my parents started. A fear that their son may fall down badly and hurt himself began. A doubt that our middle-class son can be a writer developed and thus the whole process of problems, lectures, scolding, pushing back, brainwashing began. Even when I started Blogging, everyone in my family and family friends raised a doubt on my regimen and asked me to stop writing and blogging. I thought to combat everyone and keep doing what I want to. This decision has been fruitful and today I am whatever I wanted to be through my blogs. Actually, I am more than what I thought and expected and desired. Now, my parents fear and cant even think that there can be a book with the name of their son as a Writer in this world. I will have to prove this. I don't know how many weeks or months or years will it take for me to prove that my dream and my desire was fruitful and effective but I have decided that I will never forget what I claimed to be. I know this is out of the world for my middle-class family but when its thought it has to be done and brought to a conclusion. 

              Everyday there's a lecture about why don't I concentrate on my programming as I am learning computers. Why don't I try to go into details of computer and languages of computer rather than reading about writers and books. One day, I think I will make my parents know and all the middle-class family know that if the oath is build up of Birla Cement jismein jaan hoti hai then its not hard to fight for it and achieve it. There are many middle-class child we know who are world-famous today. I am just fighting for getting a Success which is already half-achieved. At least I am an acclaimed blogger today. Even if my life ends here, my parents can say that not book but his Blog - ARB was present in this world. 

             I am fighting for my big dream and I want every middle-class child to fight for their big dream and let these middle-class parent know that its possible to be high class if the dream is seen with the eyes wide open. 

             Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU   

SALMAN JANJIRKAR SPEAKS (Member's Post) !!!

            Member's BLOG POST -->> 

             I am sure that all of you remember Salman Janjirkar - member of ARB. He committed to post 1 to 2 articles per month on my blog for everyone of you but because of some personal problems he was unable to do so. After a long time he sent me this post to me and I was quite shocked to read the post. I never thought that Salman would really write about this but once when he has opened one of the envelope of his life I am sure that many more are yet to come. Salman, I am waiting for more such posts from you. Now, I would not like to waste your time as you may be curious for reading Salman's words by now. So here it is :-


FOREWORD BY SALMAN :
  
             Here I am once again!!

       It’s been some time since you all heard from me...

            I know most of you might be thinking that I had committed to write monthly articles for Veeru but didn’t follow up on it… the reason for this---- I have, I guess, made Veeru understand the obstacles faced by during this ‘PERIOD OF ABSENCE’.
       
            Many of my friends have asked me to write about my personal life and experiences for quite a while now. For those who don’t know me, the thing is that I am essentially an introvert. I take time to open up to people and very few of them are like that and they are very special and important for me...

 The last two years of my life have been in turmoil...

So here I will try to express myself, my problems and if possible set my inner demons free!!

  
THE DARK AGES !!!

           Last year I took a step, which I think shall have a drastic (hopefully positive) effect on my future and of my family’s.

          I was a student of engineering pursuing a bachelor of Electronics in one of the so called ‘PREMIERE INSTITUTE OF MUMBAI’….. I suffered two drop years….. Not that I am dummy or so! Just to get the facts straight I have always scored above 80% throughout my high school… scored 86.something in My SSC with 2 months worth of study, 71 in my HSC with hardly umm… 25 days worth of study..

           So study was not an issue for me and also I scored 59.something in my 1st semester examinations...

           What I guess caused this downfall is certain incidents which shook my very existence. 1st and foremost I lost some people whom I would have trusted my life with... My best buddies and I went off on a rampage to literally destroy each other! Second my dismal performance academically made me lose confidence in myself, which is I guess the worst thing that can happen to anybody!

            I completely loss my focus and became a soul-less body… became a man who had lost his reason for survival for whom the very reason of existence had been forgotten… but the only thing which kept me from going insane was the timely reunion with my buddies (initiative was taken from their sides for which I am eternally grateful to them) and the thought of my FAMILY… My wonderful family! For which I thank Almighty Allah eternally to provide such an insolent creature like me with such wonderful support system….

            If kindness could kill I would have been long dead, maybe burning in hell! I never can imagine a family so supportive, so caring! No questions were asked! When I said I had lost my focus they accepted it that way said ‘Beta jaan hai to jahaan hai, nothings more important than you!!’So here they shifted to Mumbai along with me to provide moral and emotional support and yet once again I disappointed everyone… I got another drop!! This one really shook me as even I could not fathom the reason for it... it seemed that I had completely lost my sense of reality and direction in life… however my wonderful support system of family and friends got me out of that ‘Abyss’ I was lost in and made me whole again..

            The decision I took to shift to commerce was accepted immediately by all… but somehow I felt their disappointment and it killed me every time I saw the hurt in their eyes when anyone questioned about me….. But maybe this was to act as the catalyst in my recovery! I took seriously to the task ahead of me... though formidable but it aint unachievable! I still got years ahead of me! I shall stand up to the challenges that come ahead of me and fulfill the promises I made…. And by The Great Lord above no one can stop me now!!

            So here I might like to mention a few people who have helped me rediscover the ‘SALMAN’ whom I had forgotten and lost track of…

            My Great Buddies – Fahad Bodhle a.k.a. Appu , Muskaan Malani, Nowman Sawal a.k.a. Nomi, Niraj Patil,Ronesh Nikalje And Baakir Cherawala----- because if it wasn’t for you guys I don’t know where I might be today.. The invaluable support you all gave to a wretched creature like me was simply… I got no words to express what I feel and want to say….

            And though I might never express it in your face But I Love You Very Much My Family!!---Pappa, Mummy, Appi, Mumma and Abbu—especially Mummy, Abbu and Appi—You guys have believed me everytime I have been down and yet somehow I have never lived up to your expectations and though sorry seems to be the hardest word for me to say I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me and begin fresh anew….

            Well guess I have almost poured my soul out and am feeling good already!

            I have been carrying this load on my heart for quite a while now, but now its lightened and maybe I can learn to live again, to hope again, find the magical touch which made me successful and cheerful….

            Thank you all for listening out to me

            I remain, as ever

Salman “The Master Of Disaster” Janjirkar

Ciao!!    

I Lost My Son But I Gained Respect !!!

            364th BLOG -->>

        I remember the very first day when I saw my little son in the hospital. He was lying on his white bed sheet without knowing the circumstances he will have to face once he will grow up. I saw him and I was unable to imagine anything in this world which can be more sweeter than him. I was happy that this is my child who is the sweetest creation of God. Whenever he used to open his eyes, he used to smile. I used to feel so blithe that I can make my child laugh. I always loved kids so it was obvious that when I will have my own child, I'll love him/her passionately. Every father plans a future for his child. Seeing his innocence and small lovely face, I planned a smooth future for him. I wanted my son to be a businessman. 

             After two years, I already collected the sum of 2 Lakhs rupees. I was saving this money so that I can invest in a business which I would gift my child after he completes his B.Com. Till now, he learned to walk and call people by their name in his own funny tone. He used to tremble and dither while walking and seeing the strangers he used to run and hug me as he will never leave me again. I was fond of him like every father of this world. My father lost his life when I was just about 5 months old so I never got the love of father. This was one more reason why I was so attached and heuristic for my son. 

            Few years passed and now he started going to school. Whenever he used to return from school, I used to ask him his schedule and what new did he learned today. One day he said that papa I would love to be a computer engineer. I had no problem as this job didn't required any slogging and struggling. It is a job where a person has to sit on a revolving chair in a Air conditioned office. I loved his decision and I prayed to God that his decision doesn't change. 

            Few years passed and now he passed his 10th board exams. He passed it with remarkable and great 89% marks. I was so happy for him. On the day of the result, I entered his room and asked him about his decision for his future. My heart was beating faster as I wanted to hear commerce stream from him. He replied to my question," Dad, I would love to be a commando." I was shocked. I asked,"Why?" He said," Dad, I read newspapers regularly and I found that our nation is corrupt and weak. I want to make it stronger. Even a man can bring changes to the world if he think of changing it. You thought to create a new human body on the earth and see it was so easy for you and here I am. So, I want to replace the word of Weakest by Strongest for my nation." For few seconds I was blank. Being a father of a single child, how can I send him to such a job where his life will be challenged at every project or job given to him. I lost my wife when my kid was 5 years old and he is the only strength and relative I have in my life. How can I send him to hell by myself? I tried to manipulate him a lot by giving the examples of other easy jobs and career opportunities but he kept intact to what he decided. I prayed to God and left my child on the journey towards hell.

              He left the house and went to live in Delhi. He was trained there and now he used to talk to me daily through phone. He told me that he knows how to fire, how to attack enemies and how to defend himself. After the training completed he came to meet me before starting his job of a Commando. When I saw him after 4 years I was shocked to see him. I was unable to believe that is this the same child whom I saw lying on his bedsheet when he was born. Those little fingers were like rods of iron. The face which was sweet was tougher now. That legs which used to dither and tremble were like the pillars of a strong skyscraper. I was proud of my son for his selection of such a field but still I had a fear regarding his life like any father of this world would have.

               On the day of 27th November, 2008 he called me and exclaimed,"Daddy are you watching News Channels?" I told,"Yes Beta, those terrorists are bloodiest creature of this world. Just see how they are firing and enfilading on us." He shouted," Dad, you are going to be proud of me. I am going to enter Taj in few minutes and I am sure that I will kill all those bastards in whatever number they are - either 2 or 10." My heart started beating faster and I was shocked. I didn't had any idea that my son is a commando and he may be asked to enter Taj to kill those Pakistanis who are trying to kill as many human as they can. I said in a deep voice as I knew that he is going for a final war of his life," Take care , Beta. Try to be alert inside the building." He smiled and said," Dad, I am a trained Commando and I am already alerted about all the safety measures. Be cool and don't worry. I will be back soon with a result of Success." And the chat ended.

               After few hours, I got a call from an unknown number. I jumped in happiness that my son has returned back safely and picked up the phone. A voice came from the other side,"Do you know Akshay Tyagi? If yes, please come to the Commando office as fast as you can." Before I could speak anything the phone disconnected. I went to the office and I saw the body of my son lying in the white-colored bed sheet. For a moment I remembered the first glance when I saw my child for the first time in the same white-colored bed sheet. I went to his body, hugged him and cried a lot. In the evening, after his funeral I came to my house and looked at all the walls which had only his pictures in different poses. The whole night passed away talking to my son in the photos and the next morning, I signed the cheque by filling the amount which I saved for my child to invest in a business and present it as a gift to him and donated it to Indian Commando Training Institute to convert more soft children into bold and audacious countrymen who would love their country before their parents.

                Today, I am alone. I have no relatives. I have no one in life. I am old but I am handling myself in spite of whatever problems I am facing. This is all just because of one decision which my son took but I am proud of his decision. People salute me because of him. I am called as a chief guest to the National functions because I am a Father of a commando who lost his life while fighting for the nation. I have never received such kind of respect in my life because of the work I did in my lifespan but I am receiving it because my child decided to live in uncomfortable situations rather than a smooth life which I made for him. I, as a father of a martyr will always suggest every child to be a commando of this nation and save our nation from the bloody terrorists who wants to spoil our peace. My request to all the parents of this country is to send one of their child for the service of the nation. Today, my child has lost his life but he gave so many Indians, Mumbaikars a chance to live more. My request to all the Indians and people from the world is to fight for the justice of my son and for all the sons who lost their life in this fight of 26/11 and ask our Government to Hang Ajmal Kasab as soon as possible. This is the only request of this lonely old father. I have nothing more to say. I am leaving now. Its my time to interact with my son who is waiting for me in the drawing room in different poses. I have many things to tell him for today. I will have to tell him naa that I chatted with all of you. So good bye to all of you. JAI HIND !!!

               I have written this post as an autobiography of a father whose son was a commando and lost his life while combating with the terrorist in the enfilades of 26/11. Let's hope that we will get many more commandos in our country to fight against these terrorists who are playing with our life and nation. 

               Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU 

Her First Kiss - How Much I Miss !!!

            363rd BLOG -->>

        I still remember the day when she kissed me for the first time. I was weeping incessantly as we were leaving each other without knowing that when will we meet for the next time. She was acting to be stronger and tougher but my tears made her tears to roll out. Now, both of us were crying and we had no words to explain our desire and feelings. She never kissed me before that and I never thought of doing this. I closed my eyes for a moment to control my tears and I found that her lips were touchnig my right cheek. I opened my eyes to check that whether this is the imagination of my subconscious mind or this is happening in my real life which I never thought of. I had no guts to look into her eyes after the first kiss from her. I felt very shy. I didn't spoke a single word. I went to the station to drop her and she left me with a last hug. I kept crying for the next 24 hours.

            After leaving each other, the only support we had was our Mobiles. We kept talking to each other for hours and hours. Our relation grew more stronger than before. We started respecting and loving each other more like never before. She asked me to stop crying and to be happy in life. I told her that no one has given me such a love like you have blessed me with so I can never stop weeping when you aren't with me. I started sending her gifts on all the festivals which were meant for our relationship. She used to love my gifts. On my birthday, I asked her to sing a song for me. She agreed and with her small voice like a 7 years old girl she started singing - Geet gaata hoon main, gungunaata hu main, maine hassne ka vaada kiya tha kabhi, isliye ab sadaa muskuraata hu main. I never heard this song before she sung it for me. I asked her that why did she sing this song for me and the reply was that once I promised to laugh and smile but I didn't fulfilled that promise as I kept crying even after that. This made me weep and cry because no one cared in such a way for me in the time that passed.

           Our love became so stronger that we never cared about what world would say about us. The only thing we cared was that we will not hurt each other because of misunderstandings and arguments. But, life and time planned something else for us. She started sending few SMSes to me. She started excusing by giving the reasons of her father being strict and her mobile being into maintenance. I controlled my feelings and pain for some time but finally a moment came when I understood that she is least interested in me and my life. I don't know what changed her but I understood that no one in this world remains the same. Time changes, season changes, people in your life changes and so the heart of the person changes too. The example was She and her heart. I cried a lot and I asked to be the same what she used to be but she was not interested anymore. She just said that I am the same and I love you in the same manner but it is not possible for me to chat with you through SMSes always. This simply meant that she didn't wanted to talk to me. In past, she faced many problems because of our relationship which she handled properly and kept loving me as always but this time she was in no mood of continuing the relation with me.

             She left me alone. I don't know the reason till today. I am still wandering for the reason. I have no problem if she wants to leave me. I have the problem that why can't she tell me the reason for which she left me. Today, I am just thinking that should I bow down and wish her a Happy new year and resolve all the matter and come together again. But then I think that why should I show her that I am missing her when she don't care about me and my life. I just want to tell her that I know I hate you for many reasons but this hatred can disappear if she will come back in my life with the same passion of care and love she had for me after that first kiss of our life. I know she loves me but because of the lack of communication and the heap of ego in our relationship she chooses to remain away from me and my life. I know she wants to cry too like I want to. I know that she wants to hug me tightly like I want to hug her. I know she wants to share that diary milk with me as she used to. I know she wants to scold me whenever I do any mistakes. I know she wants to chat with me on google talk as we used to. I know she wants to send me long mails as she used to. And I also know that she wants to Kiss me again in the same way as she kissed for the first time.

            I hope that 2011 will help me and her to come closer by leaving our past behind and accepting our present. HOPE !!! HOPE !!! HOPE !!!

           I STILL LOVE YOU.

Your Veeru - Come Back. I hope you are reading this. I can't write more. Sorry !!! 

2011 Starts and Yes, I have A RESOLUTION !!!

            1st BLOG OF 2011 -->>

         362nd BLOG -->>

        So the 2010 - The Best year of my Life has ended and we are in 2011 - A Brand New Year. I wish everyone a Very Very Happy New Year and a Prosperous One. May everyone of you get and gain whatever you have dreamed in all the passed years. I am little confused about how my 2011 will be but I am confident about my effort and dedication which I'll put in to make it one of the best of all. In the last post, I have capsuled the whole 2010 together and made it easy for everyone to understand what made me sad to leave 2010 forever and ever. The whole decade was an awesome experience for me. From a child I became a Teenager and then I entered into my Adult mode of life which consists of struggle, effort and responsibilities. I also had love affairs which made me more matured than what I was. I had many fights and I got many new relations which has made me quite social for everyone in the horizon. There were many hard experiences which made me cry a lot but has made me so stronger that I don't cry anymore as I know that I can handle all the problems as I have already handled bigger ones in the past.

              2011 is here on the floors and everyone would have made a resolution. A resolution is not to make and forget. It is made to fulfill by striving and being heuristic for it throughout the year and the conclusion of it on the last day of the year should be positive. The resolution which I made for 2010 was to be a Good Writer and a Blogger and I had put a lot of efforts to be the one and whether I succeeded or not  is on my readers to decide but I am still doing my work. Coming to the resolution of 2011. My Resolution for 2011 is to concentrate on my body and health. I am the only one in my friend circle who suffers with viral fevers again and again. I have good height and cheerful face but I have no strength in my body. I want to develop the strength in me. Building the strength doesn't mean that I want to box my foes and enemies. This strength means that I want to build up the stamina in my body to run, exert pressure, dance and do physical work. I remember when my friends asked me to perform on the day of fest and I was just thinking that Dance to main kar lunga but kitni der tak kar paaunga and I was trying to find the song with the shortest duration. This is really sad.

              I am 21 years old and I should have so much strength that I can do more work than my father but I can't. This is shameful. I have decided that I will start tit bit of exercising in my bedroom itself whenever I'll get the time. It is not necessary to be so strict about the timing and punctuality in the initial phase itself. I will start with 15 minutes of exercising. After 1 month, 1/2 an hour and when I'll feel comfortable with 1/2 hour of exertion, I'll do it for 45 minutes daily. I hope that this will help me in building stamina and continuity in my body. I am not going to any gym and training center as I know that it is just a wastage of money for the boy who is not even exercising in the home. Once, I'll feel that I have dedicated a period of 1 year to my body and physique, I'll start going to the gym to be trained and be more fit than ever. For now, I don't need huge biceps and wide chest. I need a body which can at least bear my weight and my pressure. I don't want to wrestle with anyone or beat someone. I want to handle my body in a germane way.

              One you start exercising, a smartness dwells up in your attitude. Your walking style, talking style and living style changes. This helps to build up your personality. An attitude of helping others develop automatically. I would be doing Yoga for the first half and Normal P.T. exercises and Jogging for the second half. I think this is enough. I hope I'll be successful in accessing my Resolution and making me a perfect man with all my dreams and goals getting fulfilled and accomplished. Still, 50 to 60 years of life is waiting for me and I am having such a weak body that either I am sick or my head aches or my body pains or I am admitted in the hospital. I will also try to sleep for 5 to 6 hours daily as I sleep for a very short period of time which acts as a sweet poison to my body. It wasn't effecting formerly but I can feel some sensations of it now. 

              I hope I will be successful in being regular and responsible towards my Resolution of concentrating on my Body and Health. Robin Sharma says that it takes 21 days to make an activity a habit in your daily regimen. It is so easy. I will try to maintain consistency. I hope everyone of you is working on your Resolution. By the way What's your RESOLUTION FOR THIS YEAR? Please tell me.

                 Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU