Don't Judge Me For My Status Updates !!!

            251th BLOG -->>

        Right now, I completed my article for an online magazine. This is my 3rd attempt for it. I have been rejected for the last two times. I was shocked when I was rejected for the second time and I thought that I'll never write again for this magazine but the will to perform and the will to excel as a writer didn't let me discourage myself. Today, I again wrote an article for the same magazine and I am praying to be selected this time. One of the editor of the magazine said that there's a problem in its 1st paragraph and I am thinking to modify it too. I lose the confidence very fast. I am very confident of myself that I will perform well but as my first attempt goes wrong, I keep making mistakes in the next opportunities I get. I don't know how am I so weak. I want to be someone who is perfect as Aamir Khan and Sachin Tendulkar. I want to be like them. Who can be trusted blindly. But still there's a lot to work on my personality. 

           I am tired of answering the comments on my facebook updates. Somebody or the else comes and post his or her comments and then it is me who keeps fighting for my views. I have gone mad. And this is not only the case for 1 status update or 2. Almost everyday, I get a reply which says that come on Blogger , fight for what you said, prove that you are a writer. I don't want to prove this to anyone as I am not a writer. I don't want to answer the questions of anyone as I don't want to. I am happy with what I post and I'll keep posting. Let the grammar be incorrect, let the content be incorrect. Its my place, its my wall, its my profile. If you love it, be in my friend's list or hurl me out of your friend list. I don't want to update my wall according to your demands. I know what I am on social networking sites. I know how many people love me and how many of them are just there to remark on each and every activity of mine. There are many who never chat with me but choose me for some weird questions offered to them by some applications available on facebook.

          Some people pick me up for my wrong grammar and say that you are a blogger and this is not expected from you. Arre, I am not a blogger bhai. I am just a common boy who writes what he feels. I don't want to prove that I have a good grammar and it is as perfect as Wren and Martin's published grammar books. I am still in the developing stage. I am still unfledged. I have a lot of spaces where I have to work on myself and be a good writer or blogger whatever you say. I have been indiranked 71. I think the team is foolish to give me such a good marks. I have been selected as a freelance writer just because they wanted to pay a guy who don't know to write. I am being selected by DNA newspaper for an article section by a citizen just because they felt that this boy will help us in proliferating our funny articles qualities. I am a foolish writer. Don't read what I write. 

           Then there are few of them who hate my contents. Again, I will say that I am useless. I have no creative mind. I am the most nonsense and poppycock material of this world. Come, abuse me and go. But let me write what I want to. I didn't opened this blog so that all of you will judge me. I made this because I wanted to make myself known amongst the people. How I am. What I am. What do I think. What do I do. Now, your answer will be - But you want to make your career as a writer. Yes, I want to. So let the publication house, let the editors, let the team of jury judge me. You don't do it. You are not an official body to judge me. I have read so many of Robin Sharma's books about how to deal with people and moot up our personalities but still I get broken up by such useless remarks on me. I don't want to be angry and I am a fun loving guy. Everyone who have met me know this. I love laughing and I make people laugh. But, still people try to wipe out this smile and laughter from my face. If you can't see me smiling, should I wear Burqa? Now say that I am against the Burqa. Just catch me everywhere you get the chance to. This is what exactly happening with me on Facebook. I am thinking to filter my friend list and keep only selected people who aren't interested in troubling me and selecting me from their friend list for some weird questions like Who is obsessed ? Who is different from this space? 

               I want to be alone for sometime. I want to. I want this very much. Help me. Co-operate or leave me. When my classmates are little OK-OK with me, these online friends are troubling me who never calls me up nor even send a single SMS to take the information about my health and what's going up with me. But to comment on my silly mistakes, they are available. I don't know whether they are jealous about my happiness or my never-angry attitude. I don't know what they are jealous of. I am still frustrated and thinking of deleting as much friends as possible from my facebook account.

           Signing off with frustration.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU